After School Club
by rachelcullen77
Summary: Bella has nothing to live for. Everything she knew is gone. But she meets a man who shows her things she never dreamed of. And then Edward comes along, and Bella has to make a choice. She loves them both; but is love enough for either of them? AH OOC BDSM
1. Prologue: Ignorance

**Yes, I've started a new story. Back in January, I (being smart) thought ahead to the importance of today...Today, is my wifey, TotallyObsessed82's birthday, and so in honour of her, I have wrote this little story. I hope you like it Shawna. I love you more than you will know!**

**I will update every 10 days until the chapters I have already written run out...and then, I will try update at least every two weeks. **

**A big thank you to my beta MrsKatyCullen, and my pre-reader Miracle1901. Thank you to everyone who gave me the confidence to get this onto paper.**

**WARNING: This contains very adult situations. If taken off down, it will be found on The Writers Coffee Shop and Twilighted.**

**Lastly, I do not own anything to do with Twilight.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIFEY! I love you!  
**

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Prologue: Ignorance 

_Ignorance: the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc. The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed._

Sometimes, remaining unaware of certain things can be better, the more sensible idea. Maybe if I'd just walked away from Edward Cullen that first day and forgot everything, I wouldn't be here right now. Maybe if I hadn't been so upset _that_ day, and I hadn't told Jasper everything. Maybe if I wasn't so broken, maybe if _they_ weren't dead, maybe if I didn't _care_.

But I did care. I cared a hell of a lot too much. I cared so much...that I was actually considering this option. I cared too much for Edward, for our almost kisses, which I still didn't understand. I loved his protectiveness, and his seemingly constant need to make sure I was okay.

Jasper was...different. It was wrong, so wrong, but I couldn't help it. Every time his dark eyes burned into mine, I felt goose bumps appear on my skin. Every small touch did things to my body that I'd never felt before. And now he was offering me this.

It was an offer I couldn't refuse.

_But what about Edward? _My mind whispered to me. I frowned, and glanced over to where he stood, eyes glaring holes into the back of Jasper's chest. I couldn't understand why he was so unhappy with me doing this. It had helped him, so why couldn't it help me too?

As if reading my thoughts, Jasper spoke up.

"I promise you, Bella, this will help. It will help you cope. It's helped others." He reached out and placed his hand gently on top of mine. Edward made a heart stopping stuttering growl, but didn't say anything. When I looked back up at him, his face was black, completely lifeless. His eyes looked back at me, hollow and empty. My heart hurt when I saw him, breaking into pieces..._again_.

"Isabella," Jasper said, walking over to his desk and picking something up. "I have some information you may like to read, about what it is we do here, your contract and such...read it, and then you can decide what you want to do. I would never force you to do anything," Jasper told me calmly, holding out a large folder. I stumbled over to him, yanking my hands from Edward and taking the folder.

"If you want this, be here on Saturday night, at seven sharp. You'll know what to do."

I nodded slowly, and turned and walked from the room, leaving the two men I had to chose between behind. Silently, I wondered what my life would be like now, if I had remained completely...ignorant.

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**I hope you liked. Please review!**


	2. Chapter One: Grief

**Once again, this story is dedicated to my lovely wifey, TotallyObsessed82. I hope you enjoy.**

**Thanks to my beta MrsKatyCullen and my pre-reader Miracle1901.  
**

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Chapter One

_Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret._

I sat huddled in the corner, my knees to my chest, and timidly nibbled on the end of my sandwich. I was hiding beneath the stairs, and luckily, very few people noticed me, although those who did laughed loudly.

I didn't like being around people. People wanted you to smile; they asked you how you were, when they didn't want to hear the real answer. They watched your every move, analysing you at every moment. I couldn't be around that right now. They would have a field day.

For the truth was, I was heartbroken. I was empty and lifeless, and I didn't know what to do. I was like a meteor, floating through space, with no gravity keeping it grounded in the right direction. I could feel my eyes tighten, my body tense, and my mouth freeze in the middle of chewing a mouthful, as my mind reached places I didn't want to explore. And especially not here. I forced myself to swallow, but I choked on my bite, and I coughed loudly, hitting myself hard on the chest.

"Are you okay?" a warm, soft, English voice asked, and I looked up to find a pair of startling green eyes looking down at me. I froze for a second, unsure of why this person was watching me, thinking they were just here to make fun. I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make it more respectable. Although, my red face, and distressed eyes told a completely different story.

I looked warily at the man as he sat down.

"Hey..." he drawled, and the accent made me silently swoon. He waved a hand in front of my still stunned face, and I blushed, quickly realising I hadn't answered him yet.

"I'm fine," I muttered, throwing out the only words people wanted to hear.

"Really?" the man asked, and I looked up quizzically. "You don't seem alright."

My eyebrows furrowed at him, unsure as to why he was asking me this. People didn't ask that.

"I...I'm fine." I hesitated, before continuing with my cock and bull tale. He didn't want to know my problems.

"I'm here whenever you need to tell someone the truth then," and with that, he plopped down beside me and tucked into his lunch.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and immediately cringed. "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so rude."

He looked up at me, and smiled, and I melted. His smile...his gorgeous crooked smile. It was hot enough to make a grown man weep. I chuckled at the absurdity of my thoughts, and then blushed when I realized he was still looking at me.

"You looked like you could use a friend," he murmured. Immediately, I stopped laughing, and looked away, not wanting him to see the pain that flared up inside.

"And plus," he went on, "you're fucking beautiful."

I snorted at that, and shook my head wildly. There was no way on earth that he could find me beautiful. Because I wasn't. Not now, not ever.

"What's your name?" he suddenly asked, and I peeked a glance up, to find him peering at me intently, his eyes burning holes in my face. I blushed again, quickly averting my gaze but not before I saw a small smirk appear on his face.

"Bella," I told him quietly, looking at the other people surrounding the food hall in little groups. I spotted someone over in the opposite corner, staring at us in confusion. She was quite tiny, with short, spiky brown hair. She crossed her arms as she looked at us, but then someone said something to her, and she turned away, but glanced back at us one more time, her eyes strangely pleading this time. I turned to _the man_, to find him looking at her, his face angry for some reason.

"What's your name?" I asked timidly, in an attempt to break the tension that had suddenly appeared between us.

"Edward," he replied, "Edward Cullen."

I gaped, my eyes going wide. "You're Edward Cullen?" I snorted. "Why are you sitting with me then?" This just made it worse. Edward Cullen shouldn't be sitting with the weird girl.

This may be my first week at the University, but it didn't mean I hadn't heard tales of the fantastic and beautiful Edward Cullen, who'd never kissed anyone, despite many offers from the local slags.

He chuckled at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Wow, the stories spread that fast huh?" He laughed again, shaking his head. "I'm not gay by the way; just haven't found anyone of...interest." I glanced up at him now, and was shocked to find him staring intently at me again. His gaze made me quiver inside, and I didn't know why. I felt my stomach twist as we continued to stare, our eyes never leaving the other's.

"Cullen," I heard a sharp voice bark. Edward went pale, and closed his eyes in defeat before turning to face the person who was talking to him. In front of us stood the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She had waist long, wavy blonde hair, and piercing green eyes. She turned her icy gaze on me for a moment, before looking back to Edward.

"My office. NOW," she ground out, her eyes flashing. Edward stood up immediately, cowering slightly under her gaze, and bowing his head.

"Yes, certainly." He turned back to me, and his gaze was now calm and cool, none of the sexy stares of earlier.

"Goodbye, Bella," he said quickly and formally, before marching off, followed by the sharp clicking of the woman's heels. I guessed she was a teacher by the way her voice screamed authority.

I stood up quickly when I noticed that more gazes were on me, and I quickly walked off, dropping my rubbish in the bin. I made my way to the toilets, but before I could get there, I was accosted by the girl with the spiky hair. She pulled me into the toilets, and I stumbled after her. When she stopped, I yanked my arm away, and glared at her.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, my voice not creating the anger I wanted. I sounded weak, and helpless, and I clenched my fists in anger at myself.

"Don't mess with Edward Cullen," she said sharply. My eyebrows creased together as I stared at her.

"What?"

"I said don't mess with Edward Cullen. Just don't. It will just get him, and you, hurt. Please, I'm begging you, don't speak to him; just stay away. It's what's best, for him."

I stared blankly at her, and she nodded once, as if to reinforce her point.

"Stay away. Or you'll regret it." She began to walk away.

"Goodbye, Isabella Swan, I hope we will not meet again." And with that she was gone. I stared after her in shock, unable to process what had just happened. How did she know my name?

I chanced a glance at my watch, and cursed. I had a lecture that was starting right now. I quickly relieved myself, and hurried down the corridor to the lecture hall. I slid in the back, and luckily, the teacher didn't seem to notice my absence. I paid attention carefully for the rest of the lecture, although however much I tried, my thoughts returned to Edward Cullen, and the strange conversation with the girl. At the end, I packed up the few notes I had taken, and made my way out of the room, but a warm hand on my arm stopped me.

I jumped slightly, not because of the arm, but because of the shooting sensations vibrating through my whole body...and originating from the hand on my arm. I slowly turned around, and saw the lecturer, Professor Whitlock I think, standing there, his eyes on me.

"Isabella, could I please have a word?" I nodded, and bit my lip nervously...What had I done? Did he notice me coming in late? We wandered over to his desk, and he gestured for me to sit down in the seat opposite his. He too sat down, and I crossed my legs, and shifted uncomfortably as he looked me up and down.

"So, Isabella, do you have anything on your mind?" he asked eventually, and I noticed the wonderful tenor of his voice, and the way it seemed sensual, yet concerned. His accent lilted his voice, and I smirked, despite myself. No one could deny it. His voice was hot.

"Well, Isabella?" he asked again. I blushed, and shook my head quickly, embarrassed to have been caught in a daze.

"So, there was no reason why you chose to come to my class late and paid no attention for the whole lecture?" His voice was suddenly harsh and cold, and I froze, and backed slightly away. I chanced a glance up at him, and his eyes...God, his eyes. It was as if he already knew everything about me. I felt my breathing increase, and I quickly looked away again.

"I'm sorry, Professor, it won't happen again." I looked at the stain on the ground, pretending to be extraordinarily interested in it, and waited for him to speak.

What seemed like hours later, he did.

"Okay. I hope not. You may go. I'll be looking forward to your essay," he laughed. I frowned, and bit my lip again, unsure as to why his mood had changed from angry, to care free in a matter of seconds. I stood up hurriedly, and said a quick goodbye before running from the room.

I was paying too little attention to notice the way my professor came to the door and watched me walk away, a curious look in his eyes. And I didn't see Edward, off to the side, his face murderous, and all his rage directed at Professor Whitlock.

I skipped dinner that evening. I wasn't in the mood to eat. Instead, I sank onto my bed, pulling the picture of my parents from the drawer beside my bed. I sat next to me, not having enough courage to look at it right now. I rummaged more through the drawer, and brought up a number of newspaper articles.

I didn't see what they all said. Just phrases, words, sometimes even letters. They swam before my eyes, tormenting me.

_Charlie and Renee Swan...deceased....August 24__th__....Car crash...Picking up daughter...terrible accident...daughter in shock...dead...dead...dead...DEAD._

A sob broke through and I threw away the articles; I couldn't take anymore. But I deserved this pain. So I looked at the picture. I held it up, right in front of me, and looked into the eyes of my happy, amazing parents.

It was as if it was happening all over again. Pain ripped through my chest, pulling at the strings on my heart. I let out a strangled sob, clutching at my chest, trying to hold myself together. The picture fell from my grasp as I curled into a ball on the bed, my whole body shaking with the pain.

It was my fault they were dead, I killed them. Guilt surged through me, quickly followed my more pain, more desperation, more longing to just be with them.

I should've died; not them. I deserved to go.

I felt like the entire world just closed in on me then. My ears were ringing, my head throbbing, I couldn't cope. I was alone now, completely alone in the world. I had no one. How was I going to live without my parents? They had always been there for me; when I applied for University, when I had my first kiss, after losing my virginity when the guy just ran off. They'd been there through thick and thin. And now they were gone. _Because of me!_ However much the pain tugged at me, killing me inside, and slowly breaking my heart into smaller and smaller pieces, I knew that this was my punishment. I knew that I was the one who had caused their death; if they hadn't needed to collect me from the stupid party, they wouldn't have been driving in the rain, and they wouldn't have slid off the road, and overturned.

So it was my fault. And I would have to live, knowing I'd killed my parents, until I died.

I clutched myself tighter, falling apart inside, but not being able to stop it. I needed to speak to them, I needed a hug, I needed...I needed...I needed them back. I had so much still to say; how much I loved them, what they meant to me, how much it killed me to be away from them.

I hadn't even said goodbye.

At that, I screamed. I pressed the pillow against my mouth in an attempt to muffle my cries, but they still broke through. Shrieks of agony, of loss, of the utmost grief possible.

If I had paid attention, I would have heard the knocks on my door. There were two, about 15 minutes apart. But I didn't. So I didn't see the faces of the two men, who anxiously walked away from my door.

I didn't want to wake up the next day. I was still curled up in the tight ball, my knees attached to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut harder, unwilling to open them and face the sunlight streaming through the open window. Sunlight signified a new beginning, it was happy and bright. Everything I wasn't. I didn't want a new beginning; I wanted everything to end. I didn't want to be happy, I didn't want to be lively; I just wanted to...be invisible. I wanted to disappear, just vanish. Then, I would be gone forever.

I smiled at the thought.

I jumped high in the air when my alarm clock suddenly blared beside my ear. I grabbed it angrily, switching it off before it woke the whole building. I stubbornly stared at the floor, refusing to move. There was no point in getting up.

But then I thought of my parents...They wouldn't want this.

So I got up. I hated it, I dragged my feet, and my chest hurt. But I did it. I got up. _Because that's what they would have wanted._

And that was my regular wake up call. Ever since they'd died, I had found it almost impossible to wake up, I hated it...but, _it's my punishment_, I repeated in my head.

I showered quickly, and then flung on a hoody and some jeans, pulling the hood up and over my head. I didn't bother drying my hair, nor did I bother with make-up. It wasn't like it would help. I didn't deserve attention from anyone.

I looked at my watch, and sighed. Unfortunately, I had time for breakfast. It meant I would have to face the hoards of people that would no doubt be loitering about the food hall. With an exaggerated sigh, I picked up my bag and made my way out of my dorm. I hurried down the corridor, looking at the floor with my hands buried deep in my pockets. Luckily, the food hall was fairly close to the dorm, so I didn't have far to walk.

Before I could enter the food hall though, I felt someone push into me, and I stumbled to the side.

For any normal person, they would have righted themselves quickly. But, because this was me, and I had to embarrass myself as much as possible, as I moved to the side, I tripped over my own feet, and tumbled to the floor, landing hard on my ass.

I groaned again, an angry 'ouch' coming out of my mouth.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," an English voice said. I felt my heart warm at the sound of it, and I frowned, unused to the reaction in me. It was Edward. His voice was smooth and low, pouring over me like syrup. I looked up and took in a short breath. _Holy fuck_, I thought, memorised by the messy bronze hair and brilliant green eyes that stood before me. I let my eyes run down his deliciously gorgeous frame and gasped loudly when I saw the tight fitting skinny jeans he wore, a leather jacket slung over his arm. I raised my eyes and noticed the sunglasses hanging from the collar of his form fitting t-shirt. _Shit, I never knew English guys could be so....cool....hot....fucking sexy!_

He smirked down at me, and held out a hand.

"Sorry about that," he told me, his accent still shocking my body. I shivered when I felt goose bumps appear down my back. I reached up and took his hand. He pulled me up, and I jumped slightly when I felt a shock shudder through my body when he gripped my hand. He smiled at me, a crooked smile that made my eyes widen, and mouth fall open. He smirked even wider and I teared my eyes away from his lips and looked up into his intense stare. I felt like I was drowning. With a low mumble, I shut my eyes tight and dragged my face away. I couldn't get lost in his gaze, not now, not ever.

As soon as I broke our stare, I felt guilt rush through my body, and it made me stumble backwards again. My head suddenly felt dizzy, and I wobbled a bit. Edward caught my arm, and I jumped backwards.

"Don't touch me," I whispered. I couldn't have him messing with me. I needed the guilt, I needed it so much. It was my punishment. I had to remember who I was. I didn't deserve his attention.

"Bella?" he asked, and he sounded wounded almost. I looked up, and his green eyes were boring into mine. I blinked, suddenly very aware of the wetness of my lashes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and I walked straight back out again. When I was a safe distance away, I glanced back, and found the girl with the spiky hair with him, her hand on his arm, as if she was restraining him. She glanced over to me, and I spun around and walked away, not looking back again. I shut off the part of my brain that wanted to know what the girl meant. I closed that drawer, and walked away before anything started; it wasn't worth it.

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**Please review. I hope you are enjoying. **


	3. Chapter Two: Acceptance

**Hey! This is dedicated to my wonderful wifey, TotallyObsessed82. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Love you guys!**

**Thanks to my beta MrsKatyCullen, and my pre-reader Miracle1901.**

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Chapter 2

_Acceptance: the act of assenting or believing: __acceptance of a theory._

I pulled up my hood. It was a week later after the 'Edward incident'. I tried to stop myself from thinking of it, I really did.

But my dreams had changed. Instead of picturing my mother and father, they were filled with green eyes and bronze hair, floating out of my reach, yet always able to affect my presence.

Then there was the occasional flash of blonde hair, and that smile...But I didn't even acknowledge those dreams. They were wrong.

I picked up my book bag and exited the room. I by-passed the food hall, as I had been doing all week. I didn't want to run into either the girl or Edward. I made my way across the park and into the lecture hall. It was my second lesson with Professor Whitlock, and this time, I was determined to not be called back after class.

But luck wasn't with me. I kept my head done as I went into the lecture room, and before I could stop myself, I crashed headlong into someone.

"OW!" I cried as I smacked my head against the person's hard chest. I felt myself began to tumble backwards, but hands gripped the top of my arms, and they pulled me up straight. I looked up and was shocked to find the green eyes that had been haunting my dreams gazing back at me.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, and went to move away, but he kept a hold of me.

"Bella?" he asked, and his voice sounded just as hurt as it had the last time I'd spoken to him. Reluctantly, I turned back to him, but stared at the ground.

"Bella, look at me," he urged desperately. I felt his fingers push my chin up and I met his gaze. I let out a quiet gasp; looking at him, it made my chest hurt. He looked...so forlorn, so lost.

"Did I do something? What happened? Why won't you talk?"

I groaned inwardly.

"You didn't do anything," I mumbled, trying to look away from him, but he held me tight, not letting me escape his painful expression.

"What then?" he whispered. "Please, Bella. There's something about you..." He shook his head. "I can't stop thinking about you. Please," he pleaded.

I gave in. I couldn't deny him. He looked so _hurt_, and it was because of me. I couldn't cause anyone else pain.

"I said it wasn't because of you, but it was someone else. They told me to stay away from you, that it would only hurt us both." I watched, horrified, as his eyes narrowed with anger until they were mere slits.

"Who?" he growled darkly, and I frowned.

"Edward?" I asked gingerly.

"Bella, I asked you, who?" he replied sharply.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed. "That girl you were with last week. The one with the short hair." I ripped myself from his grasp, and shook my head disgustedly.

"I think it's kinda awful that you can't even control your girlfriend."

"Bella, she's not –"

But before he continued, I stalked away. I slammed my stuff on the desk, and threw daggers at his back as he retreated from the hall. When he'd left, I noticed that others had entered the hall. They were staring at me with mild curiosity, but what got me was the way Professor Whitlock's gaze burned into me, seeing deep into my soul, and discovering my deepest desires.

Class finished, and I quickly ran from the room, stuffing the notes into my bag as I went, not wanting to be in the room any longer than necessary. It was strange. I didn't understand his reaction. Why did he look at me like that? What was it about me? Was there something wrong with me?

_Oh, I think that's pretty clear_, I thought darkly to myself.

I made my way to the library, planning on starting the essay that Professor Whitlock had just set. It was a Friday, and everyone would be getting ready for a night out, but I wasn't going out. I didn't have anyone to go out with; I didn't really _want_ anyone.

With a loud sigh, I sat down at a desk, and pulled out my notes on the American Civil War. I also pulled out the list of books he had given us, and made my way around the library. Soon I had a small pile, and I started on the first one. I worked through lunch, my stomach protesting loudly, but I didn't want to have to face either Professor Whitlock, or Edward. As the time passed, it reached tea time, and I was pretty sure I had my rough draft finished.

I picked up another book from the list, telling myself I'd get some food later. With another quiet sigh, I started reading.

"Excuse me, dear?" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and the hand lightly shook me. I sat up groggily.

"What?" I asked numbly. My head was swimming, and my head felt like it wanted to just drop back onto the table.

"We're closing, dear. You're going to need to pack up."

"Oh, okay. Thanks," I told her. I shook my head out, squeezing my eyes open and shut quickly, in an attempt to wake up slightly. I stuffed everything into my bag, and stood up, my legs a little shaky. I yawned, and looked at my watch, surprised to find it only 10 o'clock. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and I groaned, realizing I hadn't eaten all day. I quickly walked to the university's cafe, run by the students, of course. It stayed open later than anywhere except the bar, and I definitely wasn't going there. I sat down in the corner next to a window, looking out on the grounds. I ordered some coffee and a small tuna sandwich, hoping that would be enough to satisfy me at the moment.

I sat alone, just watching people in short skirts and high heels come walking by, some glancing at me, some not. But every time, it was a like a stab to my heart. It was another reminder that I was alone now, that I had no one. I gulped angrily.

I didn't want to be alone. I needed someone, anyone. I needed someone to _hol_d me, I needed someone to _want_ me to be around. _I needed someone_. It was killing me, knowing that this could be it forever. Who could want a murderer? I wiped at the tears that were slowly falling from my eyes.

It was like I was empty. I had nothing left in me, no drive, no life, no nothing. My throat hurt with the lump that formed in it. My stomach turned slightly, and I didn't know why. I felt sick to the stomach as I thought about being alone. It scared me so much, I was terrified that I would never be loved again, terrified that I'd lost everything now.

A cracked cry broke through my silent sobs, and I stood up hurriedly. I threw some random money on the table, grabbed my bag, and ran from the cafe. Once again, I didn't notice the two figures who watched me go, each worried in their own ways.

With a loud cry, I sank back onto my bed, my haven, and wrapped myself in my own arms again, the exact position as last night. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I couldn't stop. It was as if my life was leaving me, I cried for everything. I screamed. I yelled. I scratched at my arms in a blind attempt to ignore the pain in my heart.

I had lost everything. Everything I ever loved and cared about was gone. _I_ was dead too. I realized that now. I was dead inside. I was emotionally empty, heartbroken. I felt like I was about to combust. It was too much pain to bear, how I was still alive, I didn't know. This amount of pain shouldn't be possible. I couldn't breathe; I was slowly suffocating, and I was glad. I screamed again, and the sound tore through the silence of the night, chilling everyone who heard it. It was an inhumane sound, animalistic and unnatural.

My life was ending, and I wanted it. I couldn't live anymore, not without someone else. I needed to be loved. I didn't know how much I'd missed it; just a small hug would suffice. I wanted, craved affection, and I didn't know what to do now.

My light had gone out though, so I knew I would never get that affection.

I was dead to everyone. _It's as if I never existed, _my thoughts whispered to me. And it was true. I hadn't existed in anyone else's eyes. I was just a broken little girl, who wanted to be loved again.

I didn't get up the next day. It was Saturday, so I didn't move from the bed, except to lock the door. After that, I fell back on the bed and into a fitful sleep. I dreamed of my mother again, her face staring at me, as I imagined what she had looked like when she died. Her eyes were wide and fearful, and she was clutching at my father, yelling her heart out to him. I dreamed of him giving up trying to control the car, instead pulling her to him, and shielding her, in an attempt to protect her.

I woke up, new tears on my cheeks, and my breathing quick.

I got out of the bed, but my legs were too shaky, and I collapsed onto the floor with a bang.

"No, no, no, no," I moaned. The dream had awoken things I'd never thought possible to feel. He would have died trying to save her. He loved her so much, he loved both of us so much. He did everything to make me happy, and so did Mom. How could someone so good lose their life before someone like me? How could I not have said goodbye?

And I was screaming again.

It was that line that got me every time..._I never said goodbye. _It made my heart break over and over, each time worse than the last, the tears coming faster, harder, stronger, the pain greater, more crippling. I scrambled into the bed, hiding under the covers in a ball, and lost myself in my tears once more.

I stayed there on Sunday too. It got to the point where I no longer was hungry. I got up to use the bathroom in my room, and then went back to bed, hiding under the covers. I no longer cried, I just sat in silence. I had no more tears left to cry, I had nothing else to give. I was broken. I accepted that. I was alone. I accepted that. I hurt. I accepted that.

This was my life now, and I would stay here, in my bed, forever long if I wanted to. I was going to give in, I couldn't cope any more. I was lifeless now. I was too tired, and I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

The day passed as I stared at the blanket. My body was still curled up tight, and I dared not move. My stomach would wince every time I did so, because of my lack of food, my muscles were too cramped, and the blood flowing back into them was too sore a sensation. So I stayed in my small ball, my arms trying to comfort myself, and hold myself to together. But I knew the attempt was useless, because I couldn't be fixed.

I was a murderer. I accepted that. My parents were gone at my doing. I accepted that. I deserved this pain. I accepted that.

That was it. End of. There was no changing the past, it shapes the future. And it had shaped my mind this way. So I just lay there, and accepted everything. Nothing could be changed. I didn't deserve it to be changed.

Monday morning came and went. I had a lecture, I had meetings, but I was too tired to move. I tried to get up, my vision fuzzy and my legs shaky, so I just went back into the bed and lay there some more, basking in my misery, wanting everything to just be over.

At the some point there was a knock on the door, but I ignored it, and soon they went away. With a sigh, I rolled over, wincing as I stretched my body out. I groaned, and hid my face under the pillow, trying to muffle my breathing which was far too loud in the quiet of the room.

That night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face, for some reason I didn't know. But when I woke up, my mind was filled with the green eyes again. And the bronze hair. Then the smile of my Professor.

It made me get up. I thought about not seeing Edward again, about not finding out what was up with Professor Whitlock. Amazingly, my curiosity seemed to have grown in the past few days. I needed to know what was up.

And I was going to find out.

I started to climb out of the bed, and I held onto my dressing table to try and stand straight. My legs hurt as I stood on them, having them not being used in over two days. I struggled over to the shower and washed quickly. I dried myself and got dressed, once again pulling on a hoodie and flinging the hood over my head so no one could see me. I glanced at my watch and was shocked to see it was only 6 o'clock in the morning. _Well, at least no one would see me about the place_, I thought wryly as I picked up my stuff and left my room. I quickly walked to the cafe I had visited last. As well as closing late, it also opened early. I stumbled my way along and as soon as I reached it, I collapsed onto a seat, putting my head onto the table, not caring that it was slightly sticky.

I'd walked so little, but already I was out of energy, and so so _tired_.

"Isabella?" I heard a voice ask, and I knew it immediately by the accent. I lifted by heavy head, and saw Professor Whitlock looking at me with concern.

"Are you okay?" He frowned down at me, and I sighed.

"I...I'm fine," I whispered, my head dropping to my chest.

"I'm sorry, but you don't look okay. You missed class yesterday, are you ill?"

I turned my face back to his, and once again, I felt like he was looking straight through me. His eyes burned with something unexplainable, but heartbreaking. It hit me hard in the chest, and I suddenly let out a huge sob.

"No." I shook my head, my hands gripping my hair. Immediately, he slid in next to me, and awkwardly put an arm around me.

"Shhh, Bella," he whispered. "It's alright." His voice sounded different from before; softer, more musical, more sensual.

"Why...why did you call me Bella just now?" I asked, sniffing slightly, and getting a tissue out of my pocket. He gazed at me, suddenly impassive.

"I'm sorry, do you not like it?" he asked, still keeping his face neutral.

"No, I like, it's just you always call me Isabella."

He shrugged, but before I could say anything, there was another sharp pain in my stomach and I grimaced, wincing slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asked quickly, his voice concerned deeply once more.

"I...I haven't eaten in almost three days."

His eyes narrowed slightly, and his voice was harsh.

"Why not?" he snapped. "You have to look after yourself." He snapped his fingers, and a waitress was there immediately.

"Could I get a raspberry croissant and a fruit smoothie, please?"

"Certainly, sir," the waitress said and she walked away quickly, swaying her ass lightly.

"Now, Isabella," he said, and I noticed he reverted back to my full name. "You want to tell me why you haven't eaten? Why no one has seen you in three days? Why you've missed class?"

I stared at him, and his shocking blue green eyes stared back at me, urging me to tell him. I dropped my gaze and whimpered.

"My parents died in a car crash in August, and it was all my fault," I blurted, more tears streaking down my cheeks. "They were coming to collect me, and they overturned on the road. And now I have no one, I'm so alone. I couldn't find the energy to do anything, but lie there. I just want...I just want..."

"What you want?" he whispered, his hand creeping back over my shoulder and squeezing it comfortingly.

"I just want to...to die. I want to be with them again, I don't want to feel this pain that's constantly in my chest. I can't live with it anymore," I sobbed.

I didn't care anymore that this was my teacher, and I shouldn't be telling him. But someone hadn't shown me compassion in a while, and I needed to get it out. It felt surprisingly good to have it off my chest.

"Oh, Bella," he whispered, and I noticed the change of name, again with the softer voice. "I'm so sorry, but it was not your fault. It was a tragic accident, don't blame yourself."

"But they were coming to get me...if they hadn't been, they wouldn't have been killed." I felt his arm twitch around me, but he didn't move.

I hated the fact that as I sobbed, I wanted him to put his arms around me and hold me tight. I wanted him to so bad it was getting hard to resist falling into his arms.

The waitress arrived back then, and placed the food on the table.

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

Professor Whitlock shook his head, and the waitress left.

"Eat," he announced sharply, pushing the plate towards me. I picked up the croissant, and took a bite. As the jam inside slid down my throat, I let out a small moan. It tasted so good, and I was so so hungry. Immediately, I flushed crimson, realizing I'd just moaned in front of my teacher.

"Sorry," I muttered, and when he didn't reply, I looked up at him in alarm. He was staring down intensely at me, his eyes almost pitch black, and I blushed even redder. I quickly looked away, taking another bite of my croissant. I quickly finished it, my stomach relaxing slightly in pleasure. I took the smoothie; the coolness soothed my sore throat, and I sank down in the seat, letting my head fall backwards.

"Isabella," he suddenly said darkly, his voice suddenly low and dangerous. "Please go, before I do something you'll regret. Now!" he snapped, and I jumped up, quickly, backing out of the seat.

His eyes flashed with something, and I whimpered slightly, and then turned away from him, quickly walking out of the cafe.

I made it to the open green space beside the cafe, before I sank onto the ground, breathing heavily. What was that? What the hell had just happened?

"Bella!" I heard someone call. Dazed, I looked around, and saw Edward running to me. He crouched down when he reached me, and took my face in his hands.

"Are you okay? What happened? What did he do to you?" he growled out the last question.

I shook my head numbly.

"Nothing," I managed to gasp out. "I...nothing," I repeated. I shoved him away from me. "Leave me alone. I don't want you and your weird, scary mind games. I don't need you and..._him_...messing with my mind. GO!" I yelled, shoving him again. I stood up, and he tried to reach for me, to hold me to him, but I yelled again.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I backed away from him, wiping angrily at the tears that were streaming down my cheeks now.

"I don't want to see you again, Edward! I can't deal with it!" I turned around with so much force, I slammed straight into a branch that was right in front of me.

I fell backwards, and hit the wet grass hard.

"Ow," I whimpered, bringing my fingers up and pressing them against the lump already forming on my forehead. When I brought my fingers away, they were streaked with blood.

"Shit..." I muttered, my eyes focused solely on the blood. My heart had started thumping louder and faster in my chest. "I'm bleeding," I managed to say. Immediately, Edward has his arms around me, and was pulling me off the ground. I stumbled, and he caught me, holding up almost all of my weight now.

I moaned, and my eyes rolled back in my head as I got a big whiff of the blood. I felt bile rise in my throat, and I leaned forward, gagging.

I heard footsteps running, but I didn't turn to see who it was.

"Isabella?" the voice asked and I groaned again, retching again. "What happened to her?" he ground out to Edward.

"She crashed into the tree," Edward mumbled, his arms struggling to hold me up, as I hung limply in his arms.

"The blood," I groaned. "It's making me sick," I whispered, and caught another, stronger breeze, the metallic, rusty smell of the blood coating my nostrils. This time, my eyes closed, and the world went black.

When I opened my eyes again, I seemed to be flying. I had strong arms around me, and I realized that Edward was on one side, whilst Professor Whitlock was on the other.

"What's happening?" I managed to say, my voice so quiet you could barely hear it. They both glanced at me, but it was Professor Whitlock that spoke.

"We're taking you to the doctor's room." We walked inside a building then, and Edward let go of me, and I stumbled to the side slightly. Instantly, Professor Whitlock had swept my legs out from under me, and was carrying me like a baby.

"I'm not that ill," I moaned, my stomach turning when I saw the blood on my fingers. He carried me into the room, and laid me down on a white, hard bed. I vaguely saw a blonde man in the corner of the room, but I shut my eyes, trying to focus on ignoring the smell of the blood. But it only seemed to get worse, until soon, I felt like I was about to throw up.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I announced, sitting up quickly. Edward threw me a bucket and I leaned over it, my stomach heaving. Edward came over, and pulled my hair back so it wasn't in my face. I felt a small sob escape my lips at this small act of kindness. Professor Whitlock handed me a tissue, and I wiped my mouth, putting the bowl far away and closing my eyes, this time to ignore the red blood that stained my hands.

"Isabella Swan," I heard a warm voice say. I cracked open an eye and saw the blonde man standing at my side. "Now, would I be able to have a look at what you've done?" He smiled at me kindly, and I nodded slowly.

"I'm Carlisle," he went on to say, as his fingers gently prodded at my forehead, running something wet over the cut. "I'm afraid you're going to need stitches," he told me, and I froze suddenly. Stitches?

"Won't that hurt?" I asked, and even I could hear the fear in my voice.

"We'll put anaesthetic on it, don't worry," he replied. He walked over to his supplies and pulled out what was needed. My stomach turned again and I shut my eyes quickly. I felt someone's eyes on me and I opened them quickly again, expecting to see Edward staring at me, but instead, seeing Professor Whitlock, doing his intense 'I-know-everything-about-you' stare. I bit my lip gently, not breaking his gaze for once, wanting to see what he would do. His gaze just darkened, and I saw him shift slightly against the table.

Carlisle stepped in front of me, blocking my view from him. I looked down at the bed again, playing with the hem of my jumper.

"This might sting a little," he told me. He pressed something against the cut, and I winced slightly, making Edward and Professor Whitlock move forward slightly, as if to check that I was okay. I rolled my eyes at them both, so they went back to standing and staring at me, or glaring at each other.

I felt something tug at my forehead, but it didn't hurt, the area numb now. Carlisle finished it quickly, and I breathed a sigh of relief when he finished.

"Okay, Isabella, you lie down here, I'll go get you some painkillers and some water." He turned to walk out of the room, but gave a meaningful look to the two other men in the room who quickly followed him out.

I heard their murmured voices, but I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying. I couldn't help but think it might be about me.

_But why would anyone want to bother talking about me?_ I thought darkly. I glared down at the bed, tightening my hands into fists.

"NO!" I suddenly heard from the hallway, and I froze, my eyes widening. "You can't do that to do her!" It was Edward's voice who was speaking, but I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Edward," Professor Whitlock said sharply. "It is _her_ choice, you cannot tell her what to do," he replied, his voice harsh.

"And you can?" he asked, speaking just as loudly.

"It's a _lifestyle_. _You_ are part of it. Live with it. Stop being such a hypocrite."

There was a silence for a while, until I heard footsteps, and then more murmurings. Seconds after the low barrel of noise had stopped, Carlisle came walking into the room, followed by two disgruntled looking men. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I sure as hell wanted to find out.

I _was going_ to find out.

Carlisle handed me a small bottle filled with pills.

"Take two every six hours, okay? For the pain." he told me. I took them from him and packed them away into my bag, agreeing. "Edward, can you make sure Bella gets to her room? I want you to rest today. You can go back to class tomorrow. But for now, make sure you eat, and drink, and take these. It will help the pain a lot." I nodded again, and Edward held out his hand to help me up.

"Uh, bye," I told everyone else, before walking out of the room, determined to find out what was happening with Edward and Professor Whitlock.

Edward walked silently with me the whole way. He didn't say anything, but kept a reassuring grip on my elbow the whole time.

When we reached my dorm, he sighed and finally turned to look at me. His eyes were pained, his expression desperate.

"What?"I whispered. He shook his head, his lips pressed slightly together.

"I can't tell you," he groaned, before whipping his head away so he wasn't looking at me.

"Why not?" He remained turned away, the silence growing between us.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, turning back to me reluctantly. He raised his hand slowly and ran the back of his palm against my cheek. His eyes were a mixture of both pain and longing. I felt my heart break slightly, knowing that part of his pain was because of me. I hated being the reason for his pain.

"Bella, I...I..." But before he finished, he abruptly turned away, and ran down the corridor. I glanced around, and along the corridor, I saw the heart-breakingly beautiful, blonde professor staring at me in shock and disgust. Her hair flew out behind her as she turned and walked away from me.

I opened the door before I could break down, and I sank to the floor.

I didn't know what was happening, but I knew that I couldn't bear to see Edward in pain, and I needed to find out the reason why.

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**So the mystery thickens...Please review!**

**PS:I will tease tomorrow over on the Fictionator blog, and on Thursday on Just a Sip.**


	4. Chapter Three: Hidden

**Here is Chapter Three! We get a little lemon AND a look into Jasper's mind. I hope you enjoy.**

**Dedicated as always to my beautiful wifey, TotallyObsessed82. I love you!**

**Thank you to MrsKatyCullen for betaing and Miracle1901 for pre-reading. Also thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing!**

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Chapter 3

_Hidden: to conceal from knowledge or exposure; keep secret._

The next day, I woke up earlier, got dressed and headed down for breakfast. For some unknown reason, I made myself up more. I put on more make-up, a pair of heels, and a skirt. I fluffed my hair into ringlets, and let them fall around my face. I actually _smiled_ when I left my room.

Today, I was going to get closer to him. I would find out what was up with Edward, why he had such a strange relationship with so many of the professors, and why he ran from me whenever the blond teacher appeared.

I walked confidently into the food hall, going straight to the cafe I seemed to spend all of my time in now. I ordered a bagel and coffee, and looked around, not seeing Edward anywhere.

"Why, good morning," a voice suddenly announced, and I smiled when I heard his British accent pull at my heart strings. He slid into the seat opposite me, and I jumped slightly when his knees brushed mine.

"Good morning," I replied softly. I met his gaze and his eyes were warm, sparkling almost.

"Are you feeling better? How is the head?"

"I'm much better, thank you." I smiled flirtatiously at him, and he winked back. I wouldn't normally try and flirt, but today was different. Today, I needed information.

"So," I began nonchalantly. "Where did you go yesterday, after you ran off?" I smiled at him to try and make it look like I wasn't investigating. His face hardened though, and I frowned.

"Nothing, I went to class," he muttered. But I noticed him wince slightly in his seat, and his hand rubbed anxiously across his shoulder and the top of his back.

"Why did you leave? You ran away," I continued, trying to keep the conversation light despite the slow darkening in both of our moods.

"No I didn't," he stated.

"Yes you did. Did I do something?" I made my voice sound hurt, hoping it would make him feel guilty. It did.

"Oh God, Bella, I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you, but I just..._can't_. You can't be involved."

"What can't I be involved in?" I slammed my knife onto the table, all pretences blown now. His gaze darkened even more, and his eyes grew cold.

"I told you, no. I'm not telling you. I can't. It would ruin everything you might want in life. You can't be involved." His tone was harsh, and I flinched.

"What if I want to be involved? I heard you and Professor Whitlock arguing. He thinks I might like it. And you're involved! You can't tell me it's wrong when you do whatever it is! You don't hate it!"

"Wrong, Bella," he exclaimed. "You are so fucking wrong. I used to love it, you're right. But as of now, it's stopping me from being with the only girl who has ever blown my world to pieces."

I couldn't stop looking at him. His gaze was so intense, that it killed me.

"You are so beautiful...It breaks my heart, Bella." He raised his hand, and wove it into my hair. He pulled me closer.

"I wish...I wish..." He pulled even closer, and his nose brushed against my cheek. He inhaled deeply, and I shuddered slightly, my breath catching in my throat. My head fell back, and I heard him groan a little. I felt his lips brush against the base of my throat, and I whimpered.

"More, Edward," I pleaded. He choked on a sob, pulling my face back to his.

"I _can't_...They are always watching. This is why you can't become like me. I can't have you giving up on the chance of...the best thing that could ever happen to you." He let go of me, and I fell back against the seat, stunned. Edward ran his hands through his hair, his face frantic.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later, Bella." He stood up abruptly, and for the second time in 24 hours, he walked quickly away.

I couldn't stop the tears that came to my eyes; I couldn't help but be hurt. Why couldn't he leave and get out of whatever he was involved in? If he felt so much for me, he would a find a way out surely? I wiped at the few tears that escaped.

All of a sudden, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise, and I looked up quickly. _Someone was watching me. _I spotted the blond-haired man easily, his sharp gaze examining me like he usually did. I felt once more like he saw right through me. He stood up, and with one more curious glance at me, he walked out of the cafe. I sighed, and looked at my watch. I had 15 minutes before I had to go and survive one of Professor Whitlock's lectures.

I was going to talk to him after class. If Edward wouldn't tell me what was happening, I'd get someone else to. I _was_ going to find out.

I drank my coffee quickly, wincing slightly when I burnt my tongue with the burning hot liquid. I made my way to class, and I glanced up at Professor Whitlock when I entered. He stopped everything he was doing to watch me walk across the lecture hall and to a seat. He kept his gaze on me as the class filled up, and I blushed slightly, looking away after a while.

I needed to know why he kept looking at me like that, and I needed to know soon.

I tried to pay attention and take notes throughout the hour and a half lecture, but his voice...it soothed me, yet at the same time, it made my entire body feel like it was on fire. I looked at him, and when his eyes met mine, I could imagine my hands twisting into his hair, and pulling him towards me. Through his heated stare, I could imagine his hands roaming over my body, setting my skin aflame. I could almost feel his wet lips moving along my jaw, and gently nibbling on my earlobe. I shivered in my seat and shifted uncomfortably, feeling the wetness begin to soak my panties. I felt my lips part as he stuttered in his speech, staring at me, his eyes wide. He shook his head and broke our look, speaking again, although his voice sounded much colder now. The moment was over. My fantasies vanished from my mind, and I was able to relax in my seat.

Inside, my subconscious was screaming at me. I didn't know where any of that had just come from. I had no idea what had just happened. Blushing, I hastily looked around, suddenly hyper aware that I was sitting in the middle of a lecture hall, surrounded my people who could ruin my life had they known what I had just thought. Luckily, no one was looking at me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't look at him again, instead writing down notes of what he said. I tried to focus on the coldness of his voice instead of the way it made my heart melt.

_He was a Professor. It wasn't as if anything could actually happen_, I told myself. _And besides, I liked Edward. Didn't I? _

My thoughts scrambled in my head. Yes, I liked Edward, I decided....but there was just something about Professor Whitlock that made him..._different_.

I groaned silently at myself, hitting my head lightly with my fist. I was being an idiot. One was a teacher, and one was part of some sort of..._cult_ that meant he couldn't ever be with me. I would be better off just leaving them both alone and never thinking of them again.

But I couldn't. My curiosity was too strong. I needed to know why he looked at me so intensely, why it felt like he was looking at my soul. But I had to learn that nothing could happen there. He was a teacher. I was his student. End of the road, no good could come from it.

Edward though. I needed to know what Edward was part of, and maybe even try and free him from it. I sighed, and jumped when everyone around me started moving, crashing their chairs and packing away their books. The lecture had ended.

I had been too busy day dreaming, I had missed the last 10 minutes. I stood up quickly, and threw my books in my bag. Professor Whitlock was still standing at the podium, tidying up his papers. I ran up to him, and he looked up, and smiled cautiously at me.

"Isabella, what can I do for you?" he asked politely.

"Could I talk to you? Please?" He stared at me for a few moments, his eyes betraying nothing, and then nodded.

"Come along to my office."

He gathered the rest of his things, and we exited the lecture room. I followed him down the corridor, glancing away when the blond teacher looked at us, her eyebrows raised.

"Well well well, Jasper," she told him as we passed. I heard his jaws snap together and he glared at her.

"It's nothing," he muttered. She held her hands up in defeat.

"Okay okay, but it won't be long!" she sang, and then walked off. Jasper...I sighed his name in my head. I finally had his name. He suited it, I thought. He definitely looked like a Jasper.

"Sorry about that," he told me, starting to walk down the corridor again.

"No problem," I replied, my voice low. He motioned for me to step into a room on the right, and I walked in, looking around it in interest. It was fairly uninteresting. It was quite small, but there was a door at the back. I wondered idly where it led. He pulled up a seat for me, and I sat down, dropping my bag on the floor. My hands began twisting nervously in my lap as he stared at me. His gaze was intense again, and I bit my lip, the tension in the room continuing to rise.

"So," he finally said. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"I uh..." I mumbled. "I...I wanted to ask, about Edward..." I trailed off. I glanced down at my hands to find my fingers yanking at a lose thread of my jumper. _Jasper_, for another time, his name caused my mind to sigh dreamily, looked at me carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly, doing his whole examining thing again.

"What about Edward exactly?" he asked, and his voice was calm and very controlled. I looked up at him, and tried to focus on speaking, and not on the way his eyes were boring into mine...again.

"You know what he's involved in. I heard you shouting in the hall. Edward doesn't want to let me in, but you said it was my choice? What is it? I want, no _need,_ to know," I pleaded with him desperately.

"Why do you need to know?" he retorted back. My mouth fell open.

"Because...I...um..." I stuttered. He smirked at me, and I felt a frown grace my lips.

"Isabella," he sighed and the smirk fell from his face. "It's not that easy. God, I wish I could tell you right this moment. But you aren't ready to hear it. When you're ready, you will know."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I exclaimed. I tried to keep my voice as calm and controlled as possible, my brain reminding me that I was in the presence of authority within the university.

"It means what it means. Leave it for now. I know how curiosity can almost kill you, but you need to drop it for now. Trust me. I have no doubt that in due course, all will become clear. But when that does, I don't want you running away." His eyes darkened, and his voice grew lower in his throat, his accent becoming more pronounced. "I can't have you running away," he muttered, almost to himself more than anything. I shivered slightly in my seat, the gravely tone of his voice more than anything making my heart jolt.

"But...Edward doesn't think I'll ever know, he doesn't want me to. What's so bad?" I whispered, shaking my head slightly. Why couldn't I know?

"It's not bad, Isabella. It can be very helpful. But Edward doesn't want you involved for...reasons that I cannot explain right now. He wants to give you a chance to live properly, he...he dislikes the basics of what the...group is based on. He doesn't like what it would mean to your relationship with him."

I stared at him blankly.

"I don't understand. Why would that matter? I don't need to join whatever the hell it is, I just want to know."

Professor Whitlock – Jasper – stood up, his gaze suddenly cold and stern.

"Stop trying to undermine me, Isabella. You are not ready. I will come for you when you are." There something unrecognisable in his voice, something I'd never heard anyone speak like. He put his arm on the small of my back once I'd stood up, and I felt myself reddening, all the heat flooding straight to where his hand was positioned....strategically just above my ass, I noticed.

_Just a bit lower_, I pleaded in my head, _just a bit lower_. It felt like his fingers were almost caressing my skin, but that couldn't be right. No, there was no way that's what he was doing. But as I bent over to pick up bag, I swear I felt his hand brush lightly against the top of my ass. I stifled a groan, not wanting him to realize the enormous crush I seemed to have on him.

"Good day, Isabella," he murmured, and his voice was tense...with that same need I had heard in it before. I looked up at him one last time, and was shocked once more to see the intense burning emotion swimming in his eyes.

He shut the door quickly behind me, and I walked off, unsure as to what I was supposed to do now.

Jasper POV

Shit, shit, shit. My back hit against the wall with a heavy thud. Isabella had just left my office. My hands clenched into fists, and I hit them against the door, again and again. I never let myself get this involved. Ever. What we did here, there couldn't be anything more than lust and care. You couldn't have feelings like this. It was wrong.

But it was so right. From the moment I saw her, I knew Isabella was different. And I knew she would be mine. Sure, Edward could try and persuade her otherwise, but I _had_ to have her. I thought I wouldn't care if she would leave straight after one try at my lifestyle, but I needed that one shot with her. I desired her more than anyone I'd ever had here.

But that was before I became attached to her. I started following her, just making sure she was safe and well. And then that time at the cafe, when she'd broken down. I'd wanted nothing more than to hold her tight in my arms. And that stunned me. Never before had I felt so strongly about caring for someone than I had then. I wanted to be the one to make her better; I wanted to be the one who would make her smile.

But I couldn't ever do that. I was her teacher. So, I decided, I would continue to go with plan A. Regardless of what Edward told her, I had to have her in any way possible, even if it wasn't exactly how I wanted. Carlisle had given me leave to train her whenever she was ready. I just hoped that was soon. I didn't know how much longer I could last without feeling her around me. I wanted to control her far more than I should.

I sat back down at my desk and stared longingly at the seat in front of me, trying to picture her in it. I could still smell the sweet scent of strawberries, something I had quickly come to associate with her. I heard a knock on the door, and I yelled 'come in' my anger quickly flaring at whoever it was for interrupting the Isabella in my imagination. It wasn't until someone moved right in front of my line of vision that I realized the person had even walked in.

"Stay away from her," he growled, and I sighed, knowing immediately it was Edward. I looked up and his eyes were flashing, his hands stiff by his side, his whole body shaking slightly in rage.

"One, do not speak to me like that, Edward, and two, I haven't touched her." Well, that was a lie. I had "accidently" brushed her ass with my hand. Seeing her bend over had been too much for me. I hoped to God she hadn't noticed my little mishap.

"This isn't good for her, she can't become like us."

"Edward, it is a very helpful..._mechanism _for dealing with grief. You yourself know that all too well. She could be brilliant. And you would be able to have her as yours, even for only a few minutes at a time. I'd make sure to arrange something with Rosalie." At her name, Edward's glare deepened.

"She banned me from talking to her!"

A frown graced my face, and I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

"Let me see what I can do, Edward, okay? But don't do anything stupid. Both myself and Rose have limits, okay?"

"You don't have a limit. She isn't yours yet," he snapped back. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he stepped back, suddenly meek. He remembered that I could have the same power over him as Rosalie had, and he was afraid.

"I'm very sorry, Sir, please excuse my behaviour," he said monotonously.

"Not at all. Don't do it again. And you seem to have forgotten, my young friend, that Carlisle has granted me permission to have Isabella. Therefore, my limits mean your limits. Do I make myself clear?"

He nodded once before diverting his eyes back to the floor.

"Answer me," I barked.

"Yes, Sir," he replied quickly, his eyes darting around wildly.

"Good, now, back to Isabella. I will not force her to do anything she does not to wish to. I will introduce to her this, certainly. But her choice is her choice, and I will not take that away from her. It will be her decision, not mine. Now, get out of my office. I'll call Rosalie up later today to ask about being a little more lenient."

He nodded once more.

"Thank you, Sir." I nodded a reply and watched him walk out the door. As soon as he had left, I put my head in my hands, groaning loudly. This was getting too complicated. He was falling in love with her, I could see that. And she would soon fall in love with him. No one would be able to resist Edward Masen. But what scared me most were my feelings for her. Every second, they grew stronger and the pull to her grew larger. I wanted her near me now. I wanted her at my disposal every hour of the day.

In the back of my mind, I knew what we did here was wrong, and many people would think we were being unreasonable and disgusting. But everyone here was a consenting adult, and we did it discretely. Even the head of the university was involved. We had all sorts of power at our disposal to hide our ventures. No outsider had ever guessed before. Those involved, teachers and students, kept their mouths shut, and all were willing participants. No one would ever be forced into this lifestyle, and despite my ever-growing feelings for Isabella, I knew that if the time came and she refused to come with me, then I would let her go.

For despite my undying need to be with her in every way possible, I also realized that her being happy was more important. Her happiness and safety above all was most important. It was vital to keep them happy. Normally, they were all perfect, but you get the occasional few, like Edward, who end up falling for someone. Yet, they can't do anything about it. They signed a contract and they have to stick to it. Or they get punished.

And Rosalie was not the nicest person. Edward knew the cost of fraternizing with Bella, yet he still did it. And that more than anything showed the true depth of his feelings. Rosalie was ruthless, and he didn't care.

With a sigh, I picked up the phone and dialled the number for Rose's office.

"Rosalie Hale," she snapped into the phone on the second ring.

"What a lovely greeting," I said into the phone, smirking slightly. She sighed, evidently irritated.

"What do you want, Jasper?" she muttered, and I could imagine her crossing her arms angrily, and swatting at her hair.

"Can't I just call to talk to you?" I asked, my smirk growing wider.

"You never call to talk. Now tell me, what do you want? I have work to do."

"Well," I started. "I'd like to talk about Edward."

She groaned loudly.

"No, Jasper, whatever it is, no."

"Please, Rose, just let him talk to her. He's upset, and you know that means he won't be paying full attention during one of your sessions. Do you really want that?"

She growled in frustration at me.

"You know perfectly well, Jasper, that if I let them get to close, he will mess up."

"Just let him try. I'm positive that if you gave him the benefit of the doubt, he would prove to be much more obedient than you seem to believe."

She sighed again.

"You know I hate you, right?" she asked, and I laughed down the phone.

"Thank you, Rose. Now, just you wait, Edward will be fine. Trust me."

She snorted and then slammed the phone down, without even saying another word. I sniggered slightly, placing the phone back on the charger and picking up some marking. Bella's essay was right on top, and I sighed. I couldn't seem to stay clear of things that reminded me of her. It seemed like lately, I had been able to relate everything to her.

I read her essay, immediately impressed by the amount of time and effort she had clearly put into writing it. I worked quickly through the rest of them, and jumped up as soon as the clock struck one to go get lunch.

As I was on my way, I caught sight of the unmistakeable brown hair. I stopped immediately, and turned back to spot Isabella curled up, hidden from almost all angles by various items. I crept over, crawling under a tarpaulin to join her in her hollowed out area. She stared miserably at me, and I sighed.

"What happened?" I asked kindly, or at least I hoped it was kind. It had better have been kind; I needed her to like me. I tried to distract myself from the way her dark blue top exposed her collar bones deliciously; how when she moved, light gleamed off her hair as if like magic. How her eyes sparkled when she looked at me and saw me smiling at her; the way her skirt rode up slightly as she crossed and uncrossed her legs. Inwardly, I groaned, trying to force myself _not_ to imagine lifting that skirt and fucking her.

She glanced up at me, and I quickly looked away from her rising hemline. She blushed slightly and looked back at the ground.

"Isabella, please tell me what's wrong..." She shuddered slightly when I said her name, and a small smile graced my face. She looked so beautiful when she closed her eyes like that, her mouth a little open.

"It's...Edward," she finally said, her eyes opening again to look at mine. "He walked right past me today, and he completely blanked me. I don't know what I did wrong. I tried to speak to him and everything."

"You did nothing wrong, trust me on this," I barked quickly. She jumped slightly and I murmured an apology.

"Bella, it is nothing to do with you," I said in a softer voice. "Like I've said before, I can't explain it right now, but you'll find out why. And if you give it...half an hour, I can bet you that Edward will have come to find you."

"Really?" she asked, her face brightening. My heart almost stopped. _She was happy with him; she wanted him, not me. She was nervous around me; she didn't have any feeling of any sort for me. _

No. It couldn't be. I would get her, I had to have her.

But how?

"Yes, really," I assured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Who could resist you?" I joked lightly, but inside, the words I said were deep and meaningful. My heart panged at the thought of never touching her, of never holding her close.

_You feel too much for her, _my subconscious muttered at me in my head. _You're growing too attached. _

I noticed her glance at the hand that was still gripping her shoulder. I forced my hand away from her, and the electricity that was tugging me to her.

"Trust me, Isabella. He'll be back." I stood up, needing to get away from the intoxicating effect of Bella. I stumbled out of the building. I took out my phone, quickly calling up reception to say I was feeling ill. I slung my leg over my motorbike, and geared up the engine. I followed the short road up to the big manor where I stayed, along with the others. I kicked down the stand, and walked in the door. All of the rooms were silent, but I couldn't assume that meant the house was empty. All of the rooms were soundproofed.

I walked quickly up the stairs, and entered my room. My eyes scanned over the heavy wooden door in the corner, unused since my eyes had set sight on Isabella Swan. No one else would ever be good enough to go in there but her.

I locked my door and stripped out of my jacket, throwing it on my bed. I undid my tie and threw it down too. I walked over to my bathroom, and turned on the shower. I quickly undressed, groaning when I saw my cock standing straight to attention.

_I was repulsive_, I thought darkly, as I went against every reasonable thought in my head and climbed into the shower. I braced one hand against the wall, and as against my own will, Isabella's face appeared my mind. I closed my eyes, sighing in relief as I began to move to hand back and forth, rubbing my thumb over the head of my cock.

The image of Isabella dropping to her knees, her tongue slipping out and licking down my length filled my head. I felt my knees buckle slightly, and I pressed my hand against the shower wall even harder, in an attempt to hold myself up. I groaned as the slick, warm water made my hand slide easily.

It was as if she was right in front of me.

I could see her long, chestnut hair flowing down her back – it was so real I swore I could feel it with my fingers. I could feel her graze her teeth lightly against me, so perfect it seemed unfair that God wouldn't let me have the real thing. I could feel her hands caress up my thighs, moving round to my ass as she dragged her nails down, her mouth still working furiously.

I groaned, feeling the tension building within me. My legs began to shake as I imagined twisting my fingers into her hair, and pulling her up. I would lift her up, and thrust into her, pressing her back against the shower wall.

With a loud cry, I came.

"Oh God, Bella!" I refused to acknowledge the way I shortened her name to something sweet, caring..._loving_.

My back collapsed against the shower wall and I sank to the floor.

_This couldn't be happening to me. _

I was Jasper Whitlock, and I never lost control. I never got in too deep; my feelings always remained as they should.

But Isabella, _Bella_, my mind crooned at me to call her, had broken down all of my barriers. I was developing feelings for her I'd never thought existed in someone like me. But it was her. Everything about her drew me in. The way her eyes died when she thought no one was looking, they way she thought she wasn't good enough for anyone. I vowed to change that. The terrible guilt that raged through her every time she mentioned her parents broke my heart. Someone so angelic couldn't feel so much hatred for themselves. I would give her a way out. I would help her understand how beautiful she really was, how special she really was...and then maybe...

_No, Jasper,_ one voice in my head warned, whilst the other gave a victory dance. _You can't, you aren't like that. You can't love someone properly; you aren't here to love someone properly. _

I knew the words were true, but I couldn't believe them. I needed to believe I might possibly have a chance with Bella, even after she'd seen how truly horrific I can act.

I refused to believe that she would say no to my offer. No one had ever denied my contract. But Bella was different, and I knew it would break my heart if she said no. As if on cue, a sharp jolt of pain shot through my chest and I let out a small whimper. I couldn't think about never being able to touch her, about never being able to have her to myself for days on end, however I wanted her.

I stood up quickly as I felt my cock grow hard again, just at the thought. I turned the shower off and stepped onto the shower mat, water dripping off my hair. I tugged my fingers through it, and wrapped a towel around my waist.

This was hell. Everything I'd thought I'd once known had changed. It had all been thrown upside down. All because of Bella. She'd brought something into my life, but I had no idea how I was going to hold onto it. I didn't have a fucking clue where to go from here.

I needed to meet with Aro.

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**So, what do we think of Jasper? Any ideas on what is going on? Please review!**

**Rach x**


	5. Chapter Four: Searching

**I apologise profusely for the lateness of this update. My laptop broke and I thought I'd lost all my data. Luckily, I have it back, but still no laptop :( its still broken...so for now, updates may be slow as I have to use someone else's computer.**

**But here is the next chapter! As always, this is dedicated to the one and only, totallyobsessed82, my lovely wifey. I hope you enjoy!**

**Thanks to my beta, MrsKatyCullen and my pre-reader, miracle1901. ILY  
**

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Chapter 4

_Searching: examining carefully or thoroughly_

Jasper POV 

I cancelled the rest of my lectures for the next day and fell into my bed, my eyes closing before my head hit the pillow.

I woke up, feeling like a motherfucking teenager to find my sheets wet and sticky. As if on cue, my cheeks heated up, the memory of my mother finding similar sheets still all too clear in my mind. Now _that_ had been one awkward conversation. I rolled over, grimacing at the mess around me. _Ugh_, I thought. _Fucking Bella_...

Groaning, I climbed out of bed and quickly stripped my sheets, shoving them angrily into the wash box at the end of the bed.

"Fuck it, Jasper!" I yelled at myself, slamming my fist into the headboard. She was a fucking girl. One fucking girl! She had no right to just waltz in and steal away my heart. I hated the way she was in my every thought. I hated the way I couldn't take my eyes off her. I hated the way that just seeing her smile would make my whole world twist in wonder. I hated the control she had over me, without even realizing it. I hated everything about her...and yet, I wanted her even more.

Every day that went past without her, my feelings grew stronger, my dreams grew clearer, the urge to just grab her and take her against the wall grew harder and harder to ignore.

I wanted her, and I wanted her _now_. I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. We were supposed to introduce them gently, and slowly. We were supposed to get to know them, wait until they trust you. We were supposed to not fall in fucking love with the damn girl!

I froze_. What the fuck? _

Did I just think...love? Fucking hell, no, I did not love her. Never; I couldn't love her. I _lusted_ for her, there was a difference. No way could I love her, I barely even knew her. I shoved that thought to the back of my mind, and began pacing furiously across the floor.

I couldn't remember any fucking thing I was supposed to do with this. I just needed her to see, I needed her to want this as much as I did. I had to tell her.

Yes, I was going to tell her. _Now_, in fact. Right this minute.

Smiling brightly, I ran to the shower, washing the remnants of my dream from my body and quickly dressed. I wore a button down shirt, but rolled it up at the sleeves. Girls liked that shit, I think...I remember the last girl I'd had loved it. I scrambled over the bed, jumping my way to the door like a four-year-old girl. I flung the door open, and was immediately pushed back into the room, arms wrapping strongly around my upper arms.

Fucking Carlisle and Emmett. They pushed me down, and glared at me.

"Calm it, man. Think some sense for fuck's sake. You cannot just go marching off and tell her everything about us! She'd run away. We know that, and you know that."

I glared defiantly up at them, rage surging through my body. They were stopping me from getting Bella...they wouldn't get in my way. I stood up, my hands clenching into fists.

"You can't stop me."

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder, his grip making me wince. "Jasper, sit down. You could ruin this for everyone."

"Yes, I will not let you ruin this, young one."

My head shot up and I looked at Aro, standing in the doorway. He made his way over to me, brushing into the room with the ease and grace of someone who knew and loved power. He shut the door behind him and motioned for Carlisle to release me.

"Jasper," he said warmly. "How are you?"

"Evidently not very good apparently, or you wouldn't be here."

Aro's smile froze on his face, and he pulled over a chair quickly.

"Jasper," he warned, his voice much colder now. "You are putting me in a rather difficult position. You are a brilliant part of our team, but I cannot have you blowing everything away because you cannot control yourself."

"I can control myself."

"Prove it," he told me sharply. "Show us that you can be strong and do this properly. If you want her, and only her, do it carefully. I'm sure these guys could help you think of something."

I stared defiantly into Aro's eyes, but he held strong, and I could feel myself caving to his demands. I sighed in defeat. Aro had an exceptional amount of power over everyone. He would look, and you would obey.

"Okay. I'll do it properly."

"Thank you, my friend. It has been a pleasure talking to you, but now I must leave you. I hope to introduce young Bella to our lifestyle soon. Goodbye." With that, Aro upped and left the room.

I groaned, and my head fell into my hands.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" The room was silent, and my heart thudded in my chest...we had to have a plan...I couldn't let her go. They had to help. But the silence made my heart fall to the floor.

But then, Carlisle spoke up.

"I think I have an idea," he said thoughtfully. My eyes brightened slightly, but I didn't let myself think there was hope.

I needed her soon, and I didn't how if I could cope. Nothing would be able to speed up this process. It took weeks of careful timing and precision.

"Okay...you want her soon?"

I nodded cautiously in response.

"Call her back to your office to discuss something, an essay for example, then leave something obvious on the desk, so she can see. She'll become curious...et voila!"

I narrowed my eyes at him, and Emmett hit my shoulder.

"Fuck man, have a little laugh!"

"I'm not in the mood," I ground out, my teeth meshed together tight. I glared steadily at the floor, trying to focus on my breathing and ignore the two of them still standing there.

"So," Carlisle finally said. "What do you think?"

I sighed, knowing full well that the idea wasn't half bad. But I hated knowing they were right. _Cue gloating_, I thought, disgruntled.

"Okay, it's a good plan. Thank you," I reluctantly told them. To my utmost surprise, neither of them said anything or boasted. I glanced at them, and both were frowning at me.

"Do you...love this girl?" Carlisle asked slowly and cautiously, the idea shocking him. Blood boiled in my gut at his words.

"No, I do not," I growled, denial soaring through my body.

Emmett and Carlisle exchanged a glance, which did not go unnoticed by me.

"Fuck off," I told them. "Get out, now." My eyes flashed with anger, and both of them luckily took the hint, and left me alone in the room with my thoughts.

I didn't love her. I couldn't. It would ruin everything.

**BPOV**

What the hell? My brain was spinning, my blood heating my body at hundreds of degrees above normal. I felt like I was on fire.

I watched, my eyes slowly trailing down the figure walking away from me. He turned and I caught his piercing blue gaze before he spun around and disappeared from view.

I let out a shaky breath, shaking my head. There was something wrong with me. For one, Jasper was my teacher. Which meant I had to stop calling him Jasper.

"Professor Whitlock, Professor Whitlock," I muttered under my breath. However, I don't know why, but I didn't care. He looked young, 25 maybe. And I was 21. I only came to college because it's what Charlie and Renee always wanted for me. I'd stayed with them and gotten a job so I could be near them. But now they were gone, and there was nothing left for me but to come...so I did.

I stared off wistfully into the distance, but then shook my head impatiently, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears that had formed in my eyes. My thoughts went back to Jas-_Professor Whitlock_, I corrected myself, and the way he had comforted me the other night. Yet, his arms had provided me with more than comfort. His touch made me shiver in delight, wishing that we could have anything more.

I tried to forget about him, I really did. I tried to distract myself with Edward, but then he stopped talking to me, and was ignoring me. Then Jas-_Professor Whitlock_ had come and sat next me, and touched me again, sending goose bumps down my skin.

The effect he had on my body was unnatural, almost. I had never felt like this. I took a shuddering breath, images flashing through my head. Jasper trailing his lips over my jaw, Jasper pulling my top over my head, Jasper with his head buried between my legs.

A slight whimper left my throat then, and I shook my head in embarrassment, looking around quickly to see if anyone had noticed.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself," I heard a voice say, and I jumped, my hand clutching my chest.

"Edward!" I squeaked in shock, but he just smirked and flopped down next to me.

"Well...were you?" he repeated.

"What?" I asked, my lips pursing in confusion.

"Were you having fun? It certainly looked like it from where I was standing...and sounded like it," he told me, winking. I flushed scarlet, and looked quickly away from him. He would have fucking heard.

"You look beautiful when you blush, Bella," he murmured, and I felt his fingers brush against my cheek. I turned to him, and his expression was pained, his eyes begging me to try and understand. Sparks flew between us, and I felt the air thicken around me. My breathing was coming faster now, and I could look at nothing but Edward's lips. They were slowly moving closer and closer towards my own. I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

What the fuck were we doing?

His hands slid up my arms, and I shivered under his touch. He gripped me, and turned me so we were both much further under the tarpaulin cover, and so nobody would be able to see us if we walked past.

"Oh, Bella," Edward groaned as he sucked a deep breath in. "You don't know how hard it has been." His hands cupped my face, and he nudged me until I was on my back on the floor. It was slightly uncomfortable, but I was focusing more on the man laying his body over mine. I felt his thigh spread my legs a little further, and he settled one leg between them. His hands wound into my hair, and he licked his lips before moving closer, so close we were breathing in each other's hot breath. I felt my heart soar as he lay all of his weight on me, and I whimpered quietly when I felt his leg brush deliciously over my core. I couldn't take it anymore. I tugged his head harshly towards me, my lips smashing against his in a beautiful wave of pleasure.

I heard Edward groan as he pulled me tighter against him, his tongue slipping into my mouth and caressing my own. I hitched a leg up around his waist, and moaned when he rubbed against me.

"Fuck!" he cried, and he pushed off me, stumbling backwards several metres.

"I'm...I'm s..sorry," I stuttered, tears coming into my eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Fuck, no, Bella! It isn't you!" he cried out in frustration, his hand hitting the wall in front of him. He leaned forward, his head pressing against the stone wall. I stood up, and cautiously walked towards him. I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, and cowered away from me.

"Bella, please don't. It fucking kills me, but I can't do this. I physically can't." He turned back to look at me, and his whole face was creased in pain. "I'm so sorry. Just please, let me go."

I backed away slowly, unable to stop the tears that now ran freely down my cheeks.

"Bella, it's this...thing I'm a part of. It's tearing me apart. It's stopping me from getting the one thing I've ever wanted more than my own _life_. You. Jasper...he's dangerous. You can't trust him. He'll hurt you; he hurts everyone. That's what he does. You'll let him in, and he'll pretend he can make it better, but it never goes away. And you can never get away from it. It follows you around forever. Please, just don't let him..." he trailed off, his voice hoarse. His eyes were still spinning wildly out of control around the room, and his cheeks were red with anger.

"I have to go, but, Bella, never forget..." All of a sudden, he was clasping my face with his hands again. "That was truly the most amazing experience of my life." His lips brushed against mine one last time before he was gone.

I sank to the floor in complete shock and wonder. My heart filled with even more determination. I would find out what organisation forbid Edward from kissing me. I would find out what Jasper wanted me for.

Edward's words came back to me, and a chill shot down my spine.

_He will hurt you...you will never escape it._

But what if I didn't want to escape it? The thought crept into my head. Despite what had just happened, Edward had told me that I could never be with him. He was involved in this...thing. So why shouldn't I get involved? Why shouldn't I just let go of Edward, and do whatever Jasper wanted me to do?

I smiled secretly...It isn't like I would deny him anything. Jasper had as much power over me as Edward has, if not more.

I stood up, and brushed myself down. Whatever I thought, I needed to find out what this whole thing was. And that might take some skill, since neither seemed ready to spill.

I waited a few more days until I decided it was time to find out. I tried hard to look my best, hoping that might help me get the information from either Jasper or Edward. I put on another one of my shorter skirts, adding a low pair of heels to the outfit too. I pulled on a top, and cinched in a belt around my waist, giving me curves I didn't know I had. I brushed out my hair, and made time to blow-dry it after my shower so it was full and thick. I put a little mascara on, and darkened my eyes with liner. My lips were red enough, so I didn't bother with lipstick, and quite obviously, I did not need blusher. I stood back, and looked at myself, fairly pleased with what I wore and looked like, overall.

Today was when my mission would start. I needed to find out about them. Which meant I needed to sneak into their weird house. I remember seeing it about a 10-minute walk away from the main university building. It was giant, and I vaguely remember seeing the girl, Alice, walking out of the door. I checked my schedule and smiled when I saw I didn't have any classes till after lunch.

I grabbed some fruit for breakfast and walked hurriedly down the steps, and began to follow the path that led to their house. No one passed me, and the road was fairly silent. The weather was clear, and I was surprised to see not a single cloud in the sky. That was something indeed in Seattle.

I paused when I got within sight of their house. The big wooden front doors were closed, and there seemed to be no sign of life. I walked cautiously across the green in front of the house, glancing around nervously every few seconds to make sure nobody was watching.

I bit my lip as I approached the front door and pressed my ear against it. Silence.

I felt a shiver of fear shoot down my spine...This was so wrong. I was breaking and entering; if I was caught, they could have me arrested. The door creaked open, and I cringed at the loud noise it made. I crept slowly into the empty hall, and shut the door with a quiet bang. I paused before I could go any further, making sure that no one had heard me enter. I walked up the long hallway, cursing the fact that I decided to wear heels today, the sound of them on the wooden floor loud and obvious. All of the doors going off the hallway were closed, and I made my way upstairs, hoping that would be where all the interesting stuff was. My feet made no sound on the stairs, for which I was grateful. When I reached the landing, there was more stairs, or another long corridor. I began down the corridor, and froze when I noticed a door slightly ajar.

With another quick glance down the seemingly empty hallway, I cautiously crossed over to the door, and pushed it open. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I shook slightly as I walked towards it.

It was empty. There was no one in it, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The room seemed to be an office at first glance, but when I looked closer, I felt my breathing stop.

All over the room, there was items, placed strategically so as not to be noticed, but there all the same. I walked over to the desk, and brushed my fingers over the whip lying there, a short line of rope next to it. I pulled open the drawers of the desk, and jumped back, startled to find sets of restraints there. Other drawers contained more rope. I felt my cheeks redden when I opened the lowest drawer and found a mass of sex toys; dildos, vibrators, those weird ball things I'd always wanted to try.

Gingerly, I picked a set up, and straightened my back.

What was this place? Another glance around the room led me over to a sort of table...thing, underneath the window. It was soft, at waist height, and I leant my elbows on it, frowning as I stared out the window.

Edward and Jasper were involved in some sort of a...sex group? At first, my mind revolted, screaming at me to get out of there, and fast. But the longer I sat there, the more and more intrigued I became. And the more turned on I noticed.

Without my consent, an image popped into my head; of Jasper standing over me, his eyes burning into me, holding the whip in his hand. I shook my head quickly, blushing. Was that what he wanted me for? My eyes fell on the table, and all of a sudden, I noticed the cuffs on the legs. I jumped back in shock. It was definitely a sex group.

"Like what you see?" I heard a deep voice drawl and I jumped, yelping, to see Jasper standing, leaning against the door, his eyes dark and serious. I stood up, flattening my palms against my skirt.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," I stammered nervously, looking anywhere but him.

"That's not what I asked," he replied softly, beginning to make his way over to me. He stopped, millimetres from my body, so close I could feel the heat radiating from him. He bent his head down to whisper in my ear.

"I said, do you like what you see?" His breath brushed over the nape of my neck, and I shivered slightly.

"Yes," I breathed, finally raising my gaze to his.

A slow smile crept onto his face.

Welcome, Isabella Swan, to After School Club." His smile widened. "Would you do me the honour of becoming my submissive?"

"No!" a voice suddenly yelled, and I looked up in shock to see Edward standing, shaking with rage in the doorway.

"Edward, kindly leave us," Jasper told him, his voice cold and stern. He backed away from me, and my body ached as he left. I slumped down slightly, breathing heavily.

Edward stood his ground, glaring at Jasper, before he turned to me, his face pleading.

"Please, Bella, don't do this," he begged. He came over me, taking my hands in his. "I'll try doing something, I'll try get out of this somehow, for you...Just please, don't throw your whole university life away for him."

"Isabella," Jasper said, walking over to his desk and picking something up. "I have some information you may like to read, about what it is we do here, your contract and such...read it, and then you can decide what you want to do. I would never force you to do anything," Jasper told me calmly, holding out a large folder. I stumbled over to him, yanking my hands from Edward and taking the folder.

"Edward, I suggest we both leave her alone. It's Thursday. You have till Saturday to make your decision. If you want be my submissive—" My heart thumped in my chest at the word. Thumped with...excitement? "—be here on Saturday night at 7. You'll know what to do. If you want to be with Edward, nothing will change. Your choice." His eyes burned into me one more time, and then he whisked around. "Both of you, please leave now."

"Please," Edward begged, catching hold of my hand one more time before I turned away, and walked out of the door, away from them both.

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**So the secret it out...What should Bella do? Opinions? Please review!**


	6. Chapter Five: Passion

**I am finally back! I'm so sorry for the wait. The laptop fail of 2010 was great unfortunately. However, I am BACK! There is information about FGB at the bottom. For now, ENJOY!  
**

**Thank you to MrsKatyCullen for betaing and Miracle1901 for pre-reading. **

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Chapter 5

_Passion: strong sexual desire; lust. _

I sat on the beach, the wind blowing my hair frantically in all directions. The folder Jasper had given me lay on my lap, unopened. Every time I brought myself to try to open it, I froze. Why, I didn't know. For the fifth time, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and opened it.

I glanced down, and let out my breath. It was a completely blank page, with the words _After School Club _decorating the paper. I took another deep breath and turned the page over.

_BDSM: What is it? _was the title.

_Bondage/Discipline_

_Dominance/Submission_

_Sadism/Masochism _

I felt my blood heat up at the words on the page...serving Jasper...blood rushed to my head at the thought, and I gasped out a breath, suddenly feeling dizzy due to the lack of oxygen. I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. I needed to get through this, preferably without passing out.

I don't know how long I sat there, just reading. My mind was processing all of this information at an astounding rate. Bits of it stood out to me, like the soft and hard limits. Jasper had included a list at the back of his own soft and hard limits.

_**Hard Limits**_

_No use of fire in any activity._

_No use of those below the legal age in any activity._

_No use of animals in any activity._

_No use of another's faeces or urination in any activity._

_No use of electrocution in any activity._

_No use of sharp objects such as needles, knifes which could pierce the skin._

_No use of blood. _

_No use of equipment that could permanently damage._

_No use of strangling, or any other activity that could involve breath control._

Wow.

People actually involved electrocution in their sexual lives? It was beyond me to comprehend. The following pages consisted of a list of well-used toys that would likely be involved in our...activities.

Wow.

That seemed to be all I could say at the moment. I was in shock. I had just been told that Edward and Jasper were involved in a sex group...and wanted to tie me up and fuck me. I couldn't deny that that turned me on a little.

I sighed. But what if I wanted more, like Edward said? He was regretting it more...because he'd found me. But the only person I could imagine wanting more with, would be Edward...and that was impossible. Edward signed a contract. He couldn't get out of it, not for anything.

So why didn't I just do it? Tell everyone to go to hell, and just do it?

But what if I'm really bad? A small voice said in my head. I didn't have much experience sexually...Would he hate me? Just chuck me away? Or would he teach me?

Fuck, I needed a break. I stood up, slamming the folder closed and stomped up the beach. I flung the folder onto the passenger seat after I'd climbed into my truck. I drove back through the campus, refusing to look sideways at the building that was calling me to it. After I'd parked, I went straight to my room, picked up my phone and called Angela. She was still living in Seattle, and had been my best friend since high school. Her phone rang twice before she picked up.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, and I felt a little guilt run through my body. I had abandoned her. "Hey girl! How are you?"

"I'm doing okay, you?"

"I'm great. I met a guy, Bella!" she gushed, and I clambered onto my bed, settling down and demanding details.

"Tell me everything!"

"Well, his name is Ben, and he works at the garage down by my house. He's so sweet, and he's always buying me flowers." Angela sighed happily.

"Hey, Angela? I was wondering if you wanna go out tomorrow night? To one of the clubs around here? I haven't relaxed in weeks."

"Sure, that would be great! Come around at seven? Then we can party all night!" We both burst out laughing, and I sighed, feeling freer than I had in weeks.

I woke up the next day sweating, my voice hoarse from crying. My cheeks were wet with tears. It had happened all over again. I saw my parents waving goodbye to me...and the next instant, I saw their lifeless faces staring blankly up at me. All because of me. A dry sob shook my body, and I curled up again, bringing my knees to my chest.

I missed them. My heart panged so bad it hurt when I thought that I would never see them again. I never even said goodbye. I didn't tell them I loved them, I did nothing. I was a bitch to them, when all they did was try and love and protect me. I opened the drawer next to my bed, pulling out the picture of us all together. We looked so happy. You wouldn't have guessed that not even two weeks later, both of them would be gone.

My eyes flickered around the room, stopping on the black folder Jasper had given me.

He'd said it helped with guilt, should I just do it in the chance that it would actually help me?

I stood up, sighing again. I didn't have a fucking clue what to do, and I had to decide by tomorrow evening. Great.

I slipped into the shower, lucky that not very many people were up yet. I quickly washed my hair, trying desperately not to imagine Jasper fucking me in a shower...it wouldn't be like that. He isn't in it for the "more". He wanted to tie me up and fuck me. He didn't want the shower sex, he didn't want the sweet kisses, he didn't want the waking up in the other's arms. It was sex for him, pure sex...but something, deep in my heart, told me it wasn't just that. Something told me that maybe, just possibly, Jasper's feelings were deeper than lust, that he had the same depth of feeling as Edward had.

And what about the kiss Edward and I had shared? It was amazing, but I could never be with him. I accepted that. However much Edward said he would try and get out of this, I knew that it wasn't possible. He had signed a contract, and would have to stick to it, unless he ran away...which I couldn't do. What was left of my life was here, I couldn't leave. So was Jasper better for me? Should I just leave them both? Get on with my life and find someone less...addictive? I frowned at the choice of word that came to find...But it fit surprisingly well. They were both addicting to me...But which could I live without? I sighed, and carried on with my shower, letting the water wash everything away, even if just for a few moments.

Angela and I spent hours getting ready...well not hours, but a fair amount of time. I pulled on a pair of skin-tight leather leggings, and put a blue open back top on. Gingerly, I stepped into a pair of blue peep toe heels, and managed to hobble my way over to the mirror. I backcombed my hair, and put a ton of eyeliner on.

"Ahh," Angela said when she saw me. "You're going for the rocker look today, I see." I smiled at her in agreement.

"And you must be going for the...sex kitten?" I suggested. Angela was wearing a pale pink, short number, with a number of sequins over it. Her make-up wasn't overtly sexual, unlike mine.

"Of course! Now come on!" she announced, pulling me up. "Let's go party!"

We made our way down the street and to a club, fairly close to Angela's home. We went straight to the bar and ordered four shots of JD and two Cosmos. We slammed the first one down, and quickly followed with another. Very soon, I felt the familiar buzz, and I dragged Angela out to dance on the floor. Very soon. Just then, a few cute guys had come and asked us to dance. We gladly agreed. We all grinded together, and the man put his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I dropped down to the ground, turning to face him, and slowly rose back up his body, licking my lips slightly as I did so. He stood in shock, and I laughed, reaching up to whisper in his ear.

"I'm going to get a drink. I'll be back in a moment." I made my way through the sweaty mass of people and dropped onto to the seat, calling out for a Sex with the Bartender. That got him running.

I was at the bar when I felt it. I was laughing, fiddling with my hair whilst the bartender joked with me. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise up, and I turned around, biting my lip. I glanced around the dark club, but it wasn't until my second sweep of the room that I saw him. He was standing with his back against the opposite wall, his gaze directly on me. I shuddered slightly, his intense blue eyes reading me. I didn't notice what he was wearing, or anything around him. I couldn't break his stare. I felt a tug at my heart, and I followed it. I began to slowly make my way across the dance floor, never taking my eyes from him. He stayed where he was, watching me, his eyes curious. My breathing seemed to quicken the closer I got to him.

I stopped, inches from him, and he reached out a hand, and tilted by head towards his.

"Why are you here?" I asked, except my voice came out as a whisper, hoarse and weak with desire. He leaned down, his lips pressing deliciously against the skin below my ear.

"I came to see you, of course." I shuddered again, and suddenly, he had me pressed against the wall, his hands on my shoulders. I could feel all of him pressed against me, and my breathing hitched. His hands slowly caressed down my arms, then back up, cupping my face.

I licked my lips, my tongue flicking out, longing to kiss him. His eyes darkened, and he groaned.

"God, Bella..."

I shifted my hips slightly against his, and all of a sudden his mouth was on mine, sending fire down my spine. I moaned into his mouth, and pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. His tongue dominated my own...just thinking the word made me whimper in delight. One of his hands trailed down my body, and he gripped my thigh before yanking my leg up and hitching it around his waist.

"Fuck," I hissed as the movement caused my centre to rub against him. I threw myself back into the kiss, unable to get close enough to him.

"More," I whimpered. "Please." I panted heavily before Jasper slammed his lips back against me. He picked me up completely, and both legs wrapped around him. My back pressed against the wall harshly, but I didn't mind the pain. In fact, the pain...was good. The pain made the pleasure so much more. I groaned into Jasper's mouth, and suddenly, I knew my decision. I didn't care that it was made in haste, or that I wouldn't get that more. This passion, the way I embraced the pain, made it clear.

"I'll do it," I announced, breaking the kiss. His eyes widened in shock, and then burned with an intensity I'd never seen before.

"Fucking hell," Jasper said, his mouth moving over mine again. "Thank you." He moved his hips over mine, and it caused my back to slam against the wall again. I grunted, pulling his hair tighter. Everything was so much more intensified; everything seemed so much more powerful now I'd agreed.

All of a sudden, Jasper's lips left mine, and he dropped me to the floor.

"Isabella...read over everything again. My office. 7 o clock." His voice was colder, more in control, but his eyes still burned so intensely I felt my heart jolt in my chest. With that, he was gone. I sagged against the wall, finally being able to breathe properly again. My heart was racing, something I had failed to notice, and my breathing was embarrassingly heavy.

"Bella! What the fuck was that?" Angela exclaimed, jumping in front of me. I shook my head; I still didn't know myself. I had just agreed to become Jasper Whitlock's submissive.

"Holy fuck," I breathed, my head spinning. "I need to sit down," I told her weakly. She quickly led me over to a chair, and I collapsed, my head falling between my legs. I took a few deep breaths whilst Angela rubbed my back soothingly.

"Bella, are you okay?" She sounded worried, and I slowly sat up. Her eyes were wide as she took in my white face and shaky figure. "Bella?"

"Can I tell you something, but you can't tell anyone..." I asked her hoarsely.

"Of course!" She sat down , and put a hand on my knee, rubbing her thumb soothingly over my leg. It helped relaxed me, and I thanked her before starting. I wasn't going to stop until everything was out.

"That was Jasper Whitlock. Since the first day of school, we've had this weird connection, and he was kind of following me...not stalking, just...looking out for me. And he's so intense. But he's my teacher. Wait! Don't interrupt," I told her when she looked like she about to object. "Anyway, there is him, and then there is this other guy called Edward who seems to really like me, but whenever we got close, he ran away, and said he couldn't do this, that it wasn't me, it was him; that sort of thing. And both of them seemed to know why the other was acting so strangely, so I sort of made it my job to find out. Both of them, plus a number of others, live in this big mansion type building just off campus, and so I went there yesterday morning to sneak around. And I found out everything...Edward and Jasper are part of a...sex group...BDSM stuff," I muttered. "And Jasper wanted me to become his...submissive. I just agreed. Edward didn't want it, but he can't get out of this...group, so I couldn't just sit around and wait. And everything with Jasper is so heated, and passionate. I couldn't say no." I hung my head, and waited for her to speak.

"Wow..." was all that came out of Angela's mouth. "First...this, Jasper, he's your teacher? Isn't that...illegal?"

I shook my head immediately. "We're both over 18, so that's fine, and I doubt it's allowed by the university...but, more of the teachers are involved, and they hide it pretty well. I wouldn't have known anything, they both just ignored me. Age is just a number...and he isn't so much older than me anyway," I murmured, my cheeks flushing.

"Okay," Angela said, and I looked up in shock. She gave me a small smile. "Look Bella, this is your life. I can't tell you what to do. How you have sex is your choice; who you have sex with is your choice...I can just say what I think. I don't mind the BDSM, hell, I like it! I'm hoping Ben's kinda adventurous." She winked at me, and I let out a small giggle. "But just make sure this is definitely what you want. What if something more comes along? Could you really give it up for a bit of passion?"

"I don't know...I know that there can be nothing more than that with Jasper, but...there is something, lurking under the surface. He seems to be fighting it, but I can feel it. It's more than just sex, or passion, or control. It's different. I can tell that already. And the only person I could ever dream of having more with is unavailable. I want to let go, and I can't wait around for Edward. I just...can't," I finished lamely.

Angela took my hand.

"Not everything has to be in the here and now. Sometimes, it's best to wait."

"I know. But my heart tells me that this is what I need to do. I can't explain it. I just know."

Angela nodded, and I smiled at her.

"Keep me updated, okay? I wanna hear all the dirty details!" she joked, nudging me lightly. I laughed, and suddenly, it was us two again, no panic, no trouble.

"I think we need another drink, don't you?" Angela stood up, and together we went arm and arm to the bar.

What the fuck? I winced, and slammed the pillow back over my head, groaning. I chanced a glance at my watch, and my eyes flew open. It was just past midday, and I groaned again, rolling over, and crashing to the floor.

"FUCK!" I yelled, and then whimpered, my hands flying to my head. I stood up, and stumbled over to my desk, taking out the aspirin and swallowing a few quickly. I filled a glass with water, and gulped it down gratefully. Almost instantly, my head grew slightly clearer, and I sighed gratefully. I wandered over to my mirror, and grimaced. My hair was a mess, tangled in all directions; my make-up was streaked down my cheeks, and I laughed a little at that. I looked like a clown. A very scary, still slightly drunk clown, but still.

"Bella?" I heard a voice ask, and I jumped, letting out a little squeak.

"Shit! Angela, you gave me the fright of my life!"

She grinned at me, and I laughed back, her hair almost as ridiculous as mine.

"Did you crash or something? I thought I heard something bang..." she trailed off.

"Yeah," I admitted sheepishly. "I fell off the bed."

Angela laughed, and I started to as well, but my head started pounding, and I groaned, falling back onto the bed.

"Ugh, I can't be bothered with today," I growled, shutting my eyes off to the world.

I tried to think back to last night, trying to remember anything about what happened at all.

"FUCK!" I yelled, sitting straight back up again. "I'm...I'm meeting Jasper...tonight. In 6 HOURS!"

I jumped out of the bed, pacing quickly.

"Shit, I have to read the rest of this." I rushed over to the folder, ignoring Angela's laughs at me, and flopped onto the floor, scanning over the rest of the book until I reached where I'd finished yesterday.

Angela came up behind me, and whistled loudly at the descriptions.

I whimpered suddenly.

"Angela, it says here I'm supposed to be shaved at all times...I don't have time to get an appointment!"

Angela snorted, and I looked at her curiously. She just rolled her eyes at me in response.

"Bella, look at who you have in your living room? I'm a beautician...I can do waxes. You go shower, and then come back and I'll be ready to sort you out. I'll go out and buy some wax strips just now."

"Angela, you are the best." She really was. She had accepted me for what I was doing, no questions asked. All she cared about was that I was doing what I really wanted. I was so lucky to have her. "Thank you," I whispered sincerely. She smiled at me, and helped me stand up.

"Go get beautiful, Bells!" She slapped my ass, and I grabbed my towel and went to shower.

When I returned to my room, Angela had a number of things laid out over the bed, including a towel and a bowl of steaming water.

"Hurry up!" she complained, and I rolled my eyes.

"What do I do?" I asked her when I stood at the edge of the bed.

"Strip," she ordered, and I quickly tugged my jeans off. I had gone commando, knowing that she was going to get me naked anyway. I sat on the bed, and she pushed my legs apart and then pushed me so I was lying done.

"This hurts like a bitch. But it's worth it, trust me."

"Thanks for the reassurance," I muttered. I felt her spread something hot over the bottom of my leg, and I looked up in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

"Preparing you. You've never been waxed over...you need to get some resistance." She pushed me back down, and I sighed and relaxed back. All of a sudden, she ripped the strip from my leg, and I sat up, yelling at her.

"OW! What the fuck?"

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Jesus, Bella, overreaction much? I get this done every week! Now sit back!"

She pushed me down harder this time, and I groaned in pain as she ripped another strip off. Gradually, with each pull, the pain got less and less.

I was expecting it to be the same when she got further up. She spread wax over my core, and I relaxed, the warmth almost pleasant. Then she pulled it off.

"JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST! SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Pain shot through my whole body, and I struggled against her hold, trying to lose my legs to try and stop the pain.

"Grow a backbone," Angela muttered. "You're finished. Rub this everywhere." She handed me a bottle of lotion, and I spread it over my legs, lathering it over my centre, and whimpering at the tenderness.

Would I be able to do anything tonight? Christ, I hoped so. I groaned, pulling my clothes on again, and grabbing the folder, and reading it again.

Tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

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	7. Chapter Six: More

**Feel free to hate on me for taking so long to update. I know I know, I am total fail. But here is chapter 6! I hope you enjoy. As always, this is dedicated to my wifey, TotallyObsessed82. I love you bb! I hope you like the...direction this is going now.**

**I warn you all, this chapter is where the story starts to earn its rating. Be prepared.  
**

**Thanks to MrsKatyCullen for betaing and Miracle1901 for pre-reading.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight, but the plot is mine. Please do not steal it.  
**

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Chapter 6: More

_More: in addition; further; longer; again_

I was sitting on my bed, my shoulders shuddering every so often with nerves. I stared anxiously at the clock in front of me, watching the second hand click agonisingly slowly round the face of the clock. I jolted slightly in my seat when the minute hand moved.

6:27.

I took a shaky breath, my eyes flashing over what I was supposed to do one more time. I stood up, wobbling slightly, and pulled my coat on. I made my way out of the apartment, locking the door, and made my way down the stairs, and out of the building. It was quite dark already, the chilly Seattle air making me shiver as I walked along. I pulled the coat tighter around my body, wrapping my arms protectively around me. Despite the early hour, walking in the evening just as it was turning dark had always scared me. I did not want to meet anyone else.

I could see people heading to the few restaurants on campus while I headed in the opposite direction. I walked quickly along the path towards the big house, taking care not to fall or trip; that would just be awkward to explain. Plus, I had no wish to be late; a _punishment_ on my first day would not set the greatest impression for Jasper.

I bit on my lip as I walked, wondering what would happen if I were to meet Edward as I entered the house. What would he say? Would he even acknowledge me? Or what if I met any of the others involved? The girl with the spiky hair? The blond teacher? I failed to see why they had all had such an adverse reaction to me. As far as I was aware, I hadn't done anything to them personally.

But with a flash, I saw the reason. The blonde teacher was Edward's Mistress. I suddenly felt very sorry for Edward at having to deal with her on a regular basis. From my only meetings with her, she seemed to be a..._bitch_. I frowned, and then jumped when I realized that the big house was right in front of me. I looked at the windows, and all had the curtains closed, light shining from just one of them. Most of it looked unlived in.

_Would they have a basement?_ I thought in wonder. Would they have the very extreme stuff in here? In Jasper's folder, it had mentioned stuff like cages, but he'd also added in a note saying he wasn't too fond of using them, and would only do so for an extremely terrible punishment. I hoped that I would never do anything he would hate like that.

Taking a very deep breath, I took a step out onto the concrete drive that was at the front of the house.

_Do not knock on the door. Go straight into the house. Shut the house quietly. I will not refrain anyone else from punishing you, if you disturb them._

The words were engrained in my memory, and I pushed the door open, wincing slightly when it made a small creak, but one that sounded appalling loud in the silent air. The place seemed to have a very calm aura around it; the opposite of what went on inside. But everyone seemed to stay clear of it, their eyes glazing over the building when driving past, as if it wasn't even there. It was as if it had faded into the background.

To me, on the other hand...it stood out like a drunk Scotsman; rude and glaringly obvious. I was drawn to it, my heart tugging to go further inside as I closed the door quietly, relaxing slightly when no one came out to see me.

_Make your way up the stairs and to my office. There is a door. Go through it, and wait for me, as you should now know how to. _

That was all the instructions he gave me. I hurried up the steps, desperate not to run into anyone else. I made my way along to his office; this time the door was shut. I opened it, and crept inside. He wasn't here, but I hadn't expected him to be. I looked around the door and immediately noticed the door. It was slightly ajar, and it felt like it was beckoning to me. I walked over to it, much calmer than before. Now that I was in the safety of his office, I felt like I was closer to him. His presence calmed me. He made me feel safe. I refused to acknowledge the stupidity of feeling such things for my teacher. I was ignoring the whole teacher thing at the moment, locking it in a drawer at the back of my mind and throwing away the key. I pushed the door open further, and I stepped into the room.

My first thought was that the room was big. And there were no windows. It was lit solely from a few candles scattered around, and a couple of intricate designs on the wall, again, holding candles. My second thought was that it smelled _amazing_. It was sort of musky, but with the vague essence of Jasper. You could smell honey almost, and the scent of the wood was strong. Then I noticed the various pieces of equipment. My cheeks heated as my eyes settled on a big wooden St. Andrews cross against the opposite wall. I walked towards it, and ran my fingers over the wood. It was quite soft, and I fingered the cuffs, biting my lip when I imagined being tied to this. I was shocked that it made my body burn, and I felt wetness seep into my panties. I glanced around the room again, the dark crimson walls making me feel like I was enclosed in a hot, fiery inferno. I glanced down at my watch, and jumped when I saw it was ten to seven. I quickly made my way to the centre of the room, where he had laid down a soft mat. I put my jacket on the floor by the wall, folding it neatly, and pulled off the rest of my clothes, putting them in a neat pile. Despite the fact that nobody was in the room, I still blushed, and tried to cover my body.

I groaned, and shook my head angrily at myself. I walked back to the centre of the room, and dropped to the floor onto my knees. I spread them apart, at both the edges of the mat. I laced my hands together putting them on the back of head, and led my chin fall forward.

_Do not look your Master in the eye, unless he wishes you to do so._

_Stay silent, unless your Master says you can speak._

_Always answer, if it pleases you, Master, unless the Master specifically asks you not to._

All of the rules were running through my head at top speed, and I felt a small bead of sweat run down the back of my neck. Was it seven yet? Was he making me wait? Was he doing this on purpose?

All of a sudden, I felt something wet lick up the bead of sweat, and I jumped, snapping my mouth shut to keep from squeaking.

"Beautiful," I heard him murmur, as he stood up straight again. I didn't look at him, but I could see his feet as he walked around, and could feel his gaze on me, inspecting me.

"Look at me," he demanded quietly and I lifted my eyes and met his. He had the same look in his eyes as he'd had when he had left me at the club; so intense it was almost impossible to hold his stare. My arousal grew as he stared at me; it was such an intimate stare that I couldn't help but pant slightly. He smirked a little, and walked away. I let out a sigh, finally being able to breathe properly again. I dropped my head back down, and waited. I heard his quiet footsteps make his way back over to me, and he ordered me to stand up. I did so, remembering the stance he'd told me to stand in; feet shoulder width apart, hands in the same position.

"We're going to start with something fairly easy today so I can test you, see how responsive you are to different methods." He walked around me, and I felt his lips move against my shoulder. My eyes closed, and I hummed quietly in satisfaction. His hand brushed my hair out of the way so he was free to access my neck. He slid his hands around my waist, stroking circles down my stomach, almost reaching where I wanted his fingers most, but always rising back up again. I led out a little whimper and he chuckled.

"Come." He took my hand, leading me to a table, and telling me to climb on it. He pushed me onto my back, and pulled my arms above my head. He tied my wrists together and then attached them to the top of the table, restraining me. He spread my legs, until they were about three feet apart and tied them too. He stared down at me, completely spread before him, and I blushed, feeling the heat travel down my chest as well. His eyes darkened and he made his way over to a cabinet across from me, and I lost him from sight.

My heart was racing as I waited for him to return, with what, I had no idea. When he came back, I couldn't see what he brought.

"Isabella, feel free to vocalise; I want to hear your reactions. Until we discuss this further, if you wish to stop, your safe word will be _apple_. If you say it, we will stop all play and can discuss what made you say it. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head weakly.

"You will not cum until I allow it; this is to test your control levels, before we can work on them. Now, close your eyes. I will not blindfold you today, but it is a much more intense feeling if you cannot see."

I did as he said, and the room fell silent. I felt soft, feathery touches as his fingers caressed over my bare stomach, moving in random patterns. He made his way up my waist, and circled my nipple before rolling it into a hardened peak. His hand squeezed my breast, and I let out a quiet moan, still nervous about vocalising. His other hand crept up and did the same to my other breast, causing me to pull on my legs, trying to rub them together.

His hands left me and I whimpered, but then he took my nipple in his mouth, and I gasped in surprise before letting out another moan, louder this time. His tongue swirled over my nipple, flicking it to the side, and my eyes rolled back in my head behind my closed eyelids. His mouth moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment, only stopping when I was panting heavily. He broke away, and my skin felt cold without his contact. The longer he stayed away, the wetter I seemed to become. I didn't know what he was doing, but I felt his eyes on me at all times. I didn't dare open mine to see what he was doing; I didn't even think to look. I heard something buzz and I jolted, gasping as I realized what he was going to do to me. I felt the tip of the vibrator run up the inside of my thigh and then down the other. I squirmed as he retraced the trail, again skipping over my aching core. I whimpered, and as if sensing exactly what I needed, he ran the vibrator up my slit, and I shuddered in delight. He teased it over my clit, and I began to moan and pant in earnest, completely forgetting what he'd said earlier.

He pulled away, and I whimpered in protest.

"Isabella, remember what I told you," he murmured. I squeezed my eyes shut, and then my mouth open in a silent _oh_.

_Do not cum until I tell you to. _

Shit, I'd forgotten that easily. I wanted to open my mouth to apologize, but stopped myself, remembering his other rules.

"Very good," he commented, and I heard the buzz of the vibrator start up again. He brought it back to my clit, teasing me again, bringing me to the edge, and then breaking away. He repeated this again and again until I was crying out, begging him to let me cum. He stopped suddenly, and I heard the buzz stop. There was no noise, but suddenly, I felt something probing me open..._his fingers_. I moaned as he slid one finger in and out of me while his thumb rubbed my clit.

"I'm going to fuck you, Isabella, and you will scream my name."

I moaned loudly at his words. "Yes, Jasper, please!"

"What do you want? I want to hear it loud and clearly."

I felt myself colour in embarrassment, but then his tongue licked up my slit, and I cursed loudly. "Please, fuck me!"

I felt him smile against my skin, and then slide up over my body. I groaned, trying to buck my hips when I felt his bare skin on mine. His erection rubbed along my thigh, and his hand slipped between us, positioning himself at my entrance.

Agonizingly slowly, he slid into me, and as soon as he did, I cried out in pleasure, begging for more.

"Harder," I groaned as he began to move in and out. His thrusts grew harder, and I pulled desperately against the restraints. Being so helpless and vulnerable made it so much better, so much more powerful as I felt myself approaching my orgasm. He thrust himself deep inside me and I cried his name. His lips moved against my neck, and I felt him whisper the words three words I longed to hear.

"Cum for me," he growled, and then his teeth sunk into my neck, and I screamed his name, my back arching as far as it would go as my orgasm ripped through me. He grunted, cursing loudly and I felt his body release me. Panting, he slid off me, and I opened my eyes, blinking a few times.

He released my leg restraints, and arms, but kept my wrists tied together. He helped me sit up and rubbed his fingers soothingly over my wrists, then my ankles, helping get the blood flowing.

"That was to show you how intense it can be, if you learn to control yourself and your urges. Holding out increases the pleasure in the end. Now follow me."

I jumped off the table, and he took me to a bench.

"Kneel," he ordered, and I bent down, and laid my stomach over the bench. I felt him push my knees apart and attach a small bar in between them, holding me open.

I ached at the thought.

"Isabella, now I will give you a lesson in how pain can often increase the pleasure also. I won't use anything too full on tonight. Again, remember your safe word, and do not cum until I tell you to. Vocalize all you want." His voice abruptly cut off, and I breathed in sharply. I felt his hand gently caress over my back, going further over my ass. My cheeks heated in embarrassment.

"So beautiful," his deep voice murmured, and I felt slightly more at ease. He seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel more comfortable.

"Isabella, I am going to strap something on you, do not panic." His hands slid around my hips, pulling something over my centre, and I groaned when I felt it begin to vibrate.

"Fuck," I hissed, the vibrations making my body heave.

All of a sudden, his hand hit my ass, and I yelped slightly, not expecting it. His hand soothed the sore area, and then did it again. I noticed the sting of pain, but stayed quiet this time. He repeated it, and this time I moaned loudly, a low guttural moan from deep within my chest. The pain from it seemed to spread across my whole body, making my skin more sensitive, making everything heightened. He continued his ministrations, his thumb stroking the skin after he hit it. I was whimpering and crying his name in no time at all. Being spanked by Jasper was unbelievable. It was indescribable.

"Please!" I begged, groaning in pleasure when he slid a finger inside me. I arched my back, biting down on the soft bench to keep from screaming in ecstasy. Tears began to fall down my cheeks; not from pain, but from my struggle to stay in control.

He slipped another finger in, then another, and moved them quickly, filling me so completely I thought I might burst. His other hand continued to alternate over slapping my ass, and the tops of my thighs. Both send shuddering waves of pleasure through me, and had it not been for the bench, I knew I would have collapsed from the brilliance of it all.

I felt his lips on my skin, nibbling my hipbone.

"Cum for me, Isabella Swan," he murmured, before nibbling my lip again and licking my skin.

Screaming, I released, my vision turning black for a few moments, my head spinning with the unexplainable ferocity of my orgasm.

"Isabella, baby, you okay?" I heard a voice say from a distance. My eyes fluttered open, and Jasper was above me, his eyes worried. He smiled in relief when I gazed hazily at him.

"I've never had that affect on anyone before," he muttered, and I giggled quietly, not sure if I was allowed to speak. He glanced at me, and told me to get on my hands and knees. My eyebrows creased together; I didn't know if I was up for another round yet.

"Don't worry," he reassured me. "I'm not going to do anything else yet." I turned over, and I felt him rub something cool and wet on my red butt, and I whimpered quietly, my skin so sensitive still.

"Aftercare is one of the most important jobs of a Dom. If he does not take care of his sub's needs, then he should seriously choose a different lifestyle. Finished," he murmured, his hands resting on my ass longer than was really necessary. I smiled slightly at that; the way he seemed to want me, was unbeknown. Never before had I ever been wanted like this. It was such a new experience, but so magnificent as well. I turned around at Jasper's order and was surprised to see him back in his trousers. He glanced at me as he tidied up, and raised an eyebrow. Gasping, I struggled up into position, knees spread, and arms behind my head. He walked back until he was right in front of him, and I could see his feet. I heard something unzip, and then he said _open_. I glanced up in surprise and moaned quietly when I saw his cock waiting for me. I gladly took him in my mouth, swirling my tongue around his head before taking him in my mouth. He was far too big for me to take all of, so when I came back up, I murmured words quietly, begging that it would be okay.

"Could I please use my hands, Master?"

"Go ahead," he said darkly. I felt my heart flutter slightly in fear before I opened my mouth again, and sucked on him. I used my hands to stroke the rest of him as my mouth continued. I let my teeth graze his cock, and he jerked forward, nearly causing me to gag. His hands wove in my hair, pulling me faster, and faster.

"Isabella, more, harder," he groaned. I did as he asked, repeating the way I'd used my teeth before.

"Fuck," he yelled, and I felt my heart jolt in pride at eliciting a curse from him. He jerked forward one more time, before he came down my throat. I swallowed it down quickly, grimacing at the taste. It was salty, but bearable. He stepped back, tucking his cock away, and glared at me.

"Get dressed. Be in my office in three minutes," he told me angrily and stalked off.

My heart went cold. Why was he so angry all of a sudden? What had I done?

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**So ummmm...yeah...do we like? Why is Jasper so angry? Any guesses? Please review!**


	8. Chapter Seven: Wrong

**Dedicated as always to my wifey, TotallyObsessed82. **

**I'd also like to dedicate this to my wonderful girlfriend, An End Has A Start. There is a certain scene in here for you sweets ;)**

**Thanks to Miracle1901 and MrsKatyCullen for pre-reading and betaing.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE AT BOTTOM. PLEASE READ.  
**

* * *

Chapter 7

_Wrong: not proper or usual_

I pulled my clothes on as quick as I could, desperately trying to think what I had done wrong.

My brain wouldn't work, though. All I could think of was the fact that I had ruined this after our first, short night together. I made it through to his office, and he was sitting at his desk.

"Two minutes 53 seconds. Close one," he told me, glancing up. He nodded towards a chair in front of him, and I sank into it, shaking slightly. I kept my eyes fixed steadfastly on his hands, refusing to look at his face.

"Why are you scared?" he asked softly, and I glanced up, surprise written all over my face.

"You were angry...I thought you were going to...get rid of me or something," I whispered.

"Isabella, it was your first time. You were bound to make a mistake. I was angry, but not at you. I was angry at myself."

My eyebrows creased together in confusion.

"What? Why were you angry at yourself?"

"It doesn't matter." He shook his head. "What matters is this discussion now. Speak freely; you will not be punished for anything you say. I would still like you to call me Sir, though."

I nodded in agreement, and he smiled encouragingly at me.

"What was your overall view of that?"

I took a few minutes, thinking over his question.

"I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It was so much more...powerful than I expected. Everything felt so much more intense. It surprised me...Sir." I smiled slightly as I said it.

"What was your favourite part?" My blood heated as I thought about my answer.

"Being tied down," I whispered. "Not being able to move was...incredible, Sir."

He smirked at me, and his gaze warmed my body, making me shiver in delight. His smile grew larger at this.

"What was the worst part?"

"Being looked at," I said instantly. "It made me nervous, Sir, that you were staring at me when I was so..."

"Vulnerable?" he interjected.

"Yeah...I hate getting attention. I don't deserve it. Sir," I added quickly.

"What do you mean you don't deserve it?"

I looked away from and wrung my hands nervously.

"I just don't deserve it...I shouldn't get attention. I'm not pretty, or curvy, or anything special, Sir. I'm just Bella Swan, _loser_."

"You caught my attention from the very first day, Isabella," Jasper breathed, moving behind me. His hot breath on my neck made me shiver again. I felt his hand brush my shoulders. "You have to be blind not to notice your beauty." He pulled me up, and spun me around to face him. His hands brushed down my arms, his gaze darkening. He pushed me back until I hit his desk. I inhaled sharply, and he smiled at me.

"You are unbelievable, Isabella. I am honoured to have you with me." He spun me back around and pushed me forward until I was laying on the desk, my ass right in his view. His fingers yanked my panties down, his nails scraping against my skin. I whimpered in pleasure. I felt him lift each of my feet up, sliding my underwear off them. He kissed up the back of my legs.

"Put your arms above your head and grab the other end of the desk. Keep them there," he growled. I raised my arms and obeyed his voice. I could feel my arousal as a drop slid down my leg. I moaned when all of a sudden, Jasper licked it up. He hitched my skirt up, and gripped my ass as he sat beneath my legs. He kissed up the inside of my thigh, and I shook slightly at the feeling. My heart was pounding, and already I was struggling to hold onto the desk.

My knees buckled and I gripped the desk desperately when he suddenly ran his tongue up my slit.

"Oh God," I cried when he did it again. He circled my clit, his tongue sending vibrations all through my body.

"Ahhhh, more, please, Sir," I begged, my voice hoarse and gritty. Ever so slowly, he slid two fingers into me as he nibbled gently on my clit. My feelings heightened, and I could feel my body tightening around his fingers. He evidently felt it too as he jumped up. I whimpered at the loss. I heard the zip of his trousers and then I felt his fingers brushing the skin on my hips. He pressed up against my ass and a strange, unexplainable noise left my mouth.

_Fuck_...

He lifted my hips up, and I felt him brush against my entrance. My legs wrapped around his waist, and then he pushed inside me.

I cried out in pleasure at the feeling of him filling me so completely. He thrust into me for a second time, and I let out a strangled scream as he hit that spot so deep inside me. He slammed into me again, the desk shifting slightly.

"Shit," he cried, his thrusts getting harder and harder, faster and faster. I was spinning, the air rushing out of my lungs. He was gripping, filling, moving behind me with so much force I was scared that for a moment, he might break me. But then, I felt his lips on my neck, I felt the jag of his teeth on the soft skin of my neck. I felt my blood burn, as I wailed.

"You are _mine_," I heard him snarl. "Mine, no one else's."

"Fuck, I'm yours. Only yours. Sir." I tightened my grip on the chair, my fingers white with the tension in them.

"Please, Sir," I heard myself scream as he slammed in me again. I felt him smile against my skin, and he chuckled.

"Cum for me, Isabella. I want to feel you tighten around me."

I groaned at his words, focusing on the intense waves of pleasure rolling through me. I felt one of Jasper's hands slip around my body, cupping my breast and squeezing. My body twitched, and when he tugged on my nipple, I gave in. Behind me, I could vaguely hear him groaning as he pounded into me, but all I could do was scream as my release washed over me, the beating of my heart the only sound I could hear.

It seemed to last forever. My body coursed with pleasure, throbbing around Jasper as he panted behind me. My limp hands suddenly let go, and I collapsed. Before I could touch the floor, I was in Jasper's arms.

I felt my eyes close in fatigue, exhausted all of a sudden.

"Isabella," I heard him whisper. My eyes fluttered open, and he was standing over me. I heard him pull his trousers on, and then I was in his arms again. I felt him walk through the house, but didn't look around me. My eyes closed again, and I pushed my head closer to him. I felt him put me down, holding me steady. I wobbled slightly, and he gripped me tighter. I mumbled thanks, and stepped away from him, my head drooping.

"Isabella," he said again, and I glanced up to see him handing me a shirt. "Wear this to sleep in; I'm sorry I didn't tell you to bring anything."

I nodded drowsily and slipped out of my clothes with no embarrassment. I smiled, bringing the shirt to my nose and inhaling the beautiful aroma that was Jasper. I heard him chuckle, and I smiled, slightly dazed by the way his piercing blue eyes drank me in.

"Where are we?" I asked suddenly, looking around me in interest.

"This is my room." He took my hand and led me to a large four-poster bed. "Sleep here." He helped me up, and I climbed into the bed, burying my head in the pillows.

"Do subs normally sleep in their master's bed?" I heard myself joke. When he didn't answer, I looked up at him, and the answer was clear in his conflicted gaze.

"Oh," I mumbled.

"Sleep, Isabella. We will talk some more in the morning." My eyes gladly drifted closed and I relaxed, my whole body surrounded by everything to do with Jasper.

**JPOV**

She was in my bed. Isabella was in my bed. I watched her, her eyes closing easily and gratefully. I heard the way her breathing slowed as she fell into a deeper sleep.

I'd always made an unwritten rule to not let my subs sleep in my bed. But Isabella had broken that rule. She had broken every rule within my heart. She had looked so beautiful tonight. The paleness of her skin had seemed to illuminate when I'd circled her. Her skin was so soft, and seeing it turn red under my own hand had released emotion I didn't think possible.

But then I got mad. I was mad that she had such control over me, and we had been together one night. One fucking night was all it had taken. She had broken me. Me, with the most hardened heart of all. Isabella had stolen my heart away.

My eyes drifted over her sleeping form, watching the rise and fall of her chest. I heard her mutter something, gripping the sheets around her tighter. I moved closer in an attempt to hear what she said.

"Mmmm, Jasper...more." I smiled at her words. I could see her legs rubbing together underneath the sheets, and I felt myself harden. I groaned loudly.

The pull I felt to her grew inexplicably greater as I stood watching her for longer. Without even knowing what I was doing, I was suddenly undressed, only in my boxers, and climbing into bed beside her. My body seemed like it was out of control. I felt my hand rise against my wishes, and gently run down her side. She turned suddenly, and buried herself close to me, flinging a leg over my own, and putting her arm over me. I tensed under her, my breathing quickening, my heart pounding in my chest. She was all over me, all around me, _Isabella, Isabella, Isabella_. My chest heaved and she smiled slightly, moaning quietly, and rubbing herself against my leg. I froze again in utter shock as she did it again.

_What. The. Fuck?_

I hastened to rearrange her so that her small ministrations were impossible. I felt my heart thud, and the voice in my head scream at me, as I put an arm around her and pulled her as close as was possible, yet keeping her centre at a safe distance from me. I pulled the covers over us both, and again, without my permission, my head buried in her hair and I inhaled deeply. She smelled so sweet, like strawberries. With that, I fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating. I was panting loudly, and I groaned silently in frustration. Dreams of Isabella, holding her hand, loving her sweetly had filled my mind, and I shut them down quickly. I had to ignore that part of my brain if anything was ever going to work with us. She was still wrapped around me, and I couldn't help but smile as she tightened her grip on me, pulling me back to her.

I shouldn't smile at things like that. I should be strong. Already, I was weakening, unable to resist how she tempted me.

She shouldn't even be in here with me. No sub had ever shared my bed. My bed was _mine_. It wasn't for sharing.

I tried to ignore the joy in my heart at the fact that she was sleeping here. Instead, I thought of other things; what sessions I could plan for us, and soon I was back asleep, this time, dreams of our impossible life together had vanished, replaced with darker, more dangerous ones, of what our relationship _had_ to be like. My arms pulled her on top of me just before I fell asleep, and I smiled as I felt her weight on me.

Isabella Swan was going to tear apart everything I'd thought I'd known.

When I woke up, Bella was still wrapped around me. She had slid off me, but our legs were entangled and my arms were holding her close to me. It was too intimate. I wasn't like this. I couldn't be like this. It was wrong. I moved out of her grasp, sitting up in the bed, and putting my head in my hands. I was so preoccupied with yelling at myself that I didn't notice Bella – _Isabella_, I reminded myself – had woken up.

"A...are you okay?" she stammered, and I turned to see her fingering the hem of her shirt, her cheeks red.

"I'm fine," I replied. My voice was cold, and I hated than I was taking my anger at myself out on her. She didn't deserve this shit. I stood up, and glanced around my room.

"We can go over the contract this morning, and once it is all signed and everything is sorted, we can start moving your things in here."

"What?" she exclaimed all of a sudden, and I looked back to see her staring at me in shock. "I'm moving in?"

"All subs move in here, Isabella. It's a lot easier. Your room is close to mine, through that door." I pointed to a door down the end of the room.

"Why didn't I sleep there last night?" she asked, her face creasing in confusion. My muscles tensed, and I turned away from her, effectively ending that conversation. I couldn't tell her that I had wanted her next to me...and I could never tell her that that was the first time in years where I had not woken up screaming in the middle of the night, visions of shadows surrounding me, and my father towering over my mother and I. I shuddered suddenly, and I felt something touch my arm.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, her arm brushing mine gently. I stared at her in shock. I couldn't speak. I nodded, more than grateful for her touch...it made the visions disappear. I moved my arm out of her grasp, turning away from her again.

"I'm fine," I muttered for the second time in less than five minutes. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt. It was Sunday, so no class for either of us, which was good. I don't think either of us would have been able to cope after last night. I tried to ignore the way the hemline of my shirt rose as she stretched her arms above her head, yawning.

"Breakfast is served every day downstairs at eight. We should go down. Everyone will want to meet you."

"But I'm not dressed..." she said quietly, looking away quickly. I smirked.

"You'll be fine. It's likely the others will be in a greater state of undress than you."

She blushed, and bit her lip, blushing. She wrung her hands together as she waited for me. I made my way to her, and tilted her head upwards. I pressed my lips against her lips, and she let out a breathy sigh.

"It'll be great. You look amazing. They will love you." I coughed uncomfortably at the word _love_ and refused to accept the small implications my subconscious was muttering quietly.

I took her hand, and wordlessly, we made our way downstairs. As I'd expected, others were less dressed than Bella-_Isabella_, I screamed silently. Emmett was in just his boxers, while Rose hadn't even bothered to put a t-shirt on. Isabella, I emphasized the name, averted her eyes from both of them. I took her to our part of the table and she sat down nervously.

I muttered some of the rules for meals in her ear.

"Listen carefully. Do not speak unless spoken to; keep your eyes down; don't react to anything I do, or say. Some will ask me questions about you. You must stay quiet. Do not talk to any of the other subs, okay?" She nodded beside me, and I stroked her cheek, and smiled as I saw her relax, my aim of the action in the first place.

I refused to acknowledge the fact that I didn't want to stop touching her. The room filled up fairly quickly, and Emmett took his seat next to me with his sub, Alice, by his side. Rosalie and Edward sat next to us, and I felt Edward's harsh glare on both Bella and me. I felt her stiffen and shift uncomfortably under it. I glared at him, and he immediately lowered his case. Now we were in this house, he knew I was the one with the power. Very soon, Aro entered, and we all stood, me pulling Bella up, and waited for him and his sub, Jane, to sit at the top of the table. He motioned for us to sit, and I felt his gaze travel along everyone, until it landed on Bella and I, just as I had expected.

"Ah, Jasper, I see you told her, and she accepted! Welcome, my young one." I glanced over at Bella, and saw her acknowledge Aro's welcome with a smile and a nod, before dropping her head one more.

"Lovely, simply stunning. Very docile," he remarked to me. I agreed.

"Yes, she's very responsive too."

"Is she now? I must come by one day and see how she is, after she has been trained a bit more. How is her pain scale?"

I smiled ruefully at him, and he chuckled.

"My mistake. I forgot you do not tend to use major toys until after the contract has been signed...so they have no escape." He laughed at his own joke, and I laughed a fake laugh along with him, while my thumb moved to Bella's thigh and rubbed it soothingly, hopefully reminding her that this was what I had to say.

"So what was it you did last night to test?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not much. A little rope work, control, spanking, and of course, the all important blowjob." I winked at Aro and he chuckled.

I refused to acknowledge how I'd omitted to mention how I'd fucked her on my desk, or how she'd slept in my bed all night.

"Yes, that is of such importance," he agreed. "Jasper," he continued. "How are your dreams? Last night was the first I've never heard..." he trailed off. I smiled at him. Aro was generally concerned about me, but I couldn't tell him that it was Bella's presence which had stopped the nightmares from occurring. The others began talking amongst themselves after Aro had finished asking about the sex. Of course, the Doms talked...Bella, just like her fellow submissives, stayed quiet.

"Last night was in fact, very good. It must be Isabella's amazing skills." I stroked her skin faster as Aro laughed loudly, chortling away for what seemed like hours longer than necessarily.

"I would love to experience some of these skills at one point." I felt Bella tense in alarm, and I made a non-committal noise in Aro's direction before filling my mouth with food, effectively cutting off that line of conversation. I didn't want to think about sharing her..._she was mine. _

"Anything special you have planned for this weekend?"

"Just going over the contract, moving all of her things over. Explaining, showing her a few things. The usual stuff."

He chuckled. "And for future sessions?"

"I'll start off easy, like I always do. I will need to build up her control, also work on her staying silent." I let my hand caress slightly further up her thigh, and I felt her tense. I smiled wryly. When I felt her relax, I let my hand drift upwards again, carefully manoeuvring the tablecloth so as to hide our play.

Aro continued his speech. "Are you planning on bringing anyone else into the playroom with her?" he asked curiously, and I could tell he longed to have some time with her. But I was undecided on that matter.

"It is a matter I still have to discuss with Isabella," I concluded, letting my fingers slowly brush her slit. She shifted in her seat, letting out a heavy breath. I smiled when I noticed she had spread her legs further apart for me. She was picking this up with ease. The conversation picked up again when it was clear that Aro had finished dissecting my plans for Isabella. I glanced over at Rose and shook my head, laughing to myself, as she flaunted her breasts, jutting them forward for everyone to see. I saw Edward's cheeks were flushed and I grimaced; he was embarrassed in front of Isabella. I had no idea how I was going to stop that relationship from growing. I couldn't stop them from speaking; that wasn't me.

I felt Isabella shudder slightly, and I grinned. One of my fingers slid in, as I casually ate the remainder of my meal. I glanced at her; her eyes were bright, her mouth taut as she bit on her lip to stop from making a sound. My fingers began to move faster inside her, and I let my thumb rub her clit gently, causing her to shudder again. I saw Edward glance up, and then he peered at me in disgust. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he dropped his gaze quickly. I felt Isabella's breathing quicken, and I could feel her tighten around me. I glanced over at again, and my heart thudded loudly in my chest at the sight of her flushed cheeks and hooded eyelids. She let out a very quiet squeak, and I felt her wetness run down my fingers. I grinned, and she sagged slightly in her seat. I removed my hand, and when she looked at me, I sucked each of my fingers into my mouth, my eyes closing in delight at her beautiful taste. Her eyes widened in wonder. I leaned forward to her, and whispered in her ear.

"I'm proud of you. You made hardly any sound, and for a first attempt at staying silent, that was exceptional." She smiled slightly and I chuckled, kissing her lips, marking her as mine to everyone at the table.

I looked back up and saw Aro's twinkling eye on me. As everyone began to clear away their dishes, Aro wandered over to Bella and I, and smiled at us both. My heart beat proudly as I saw her keep her gaze down, her hands limp by her side.

"You have made a wonderful choice, Jasper. She is such a beauty." He reached out a hand, and stroked her hair. I let out a quiet snarl at this violation of my Isabella. Aro chuckled, his hands raised in defeat.

"Fear not, my friend. I do not mean any harm. I must say, she has exceptional potential. That little stunt at the table, and barely a sound from her!"

I nodded in agreement. "I must admit, I am very much looking forward to what we will do."

Aro clapped a hand on my shoulder and wandered off. Isabella and I quickly cleared away her plates, piling them in the kitchen for the kitchen staff to tidy up. We made our way back upstairs in silence, but I stopped once I reached the landing. There stood Edward.

"May I talk to her, Sir?" he asked politely, his eyes downcast. I nodded my head slowly, indicating for them to talk while I stood off to the side, my arms crossed over my chest as I examined the way they interacted.

"Hey," Edward said quietly, his eyes softening as he looked at her. Bella looked up, smiling shyly at him, and I frowned.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"You look beautiful," Edward murmured. I saw her cheeks blush, and she played with the hemline of _my_ shirt.

"Thank you," she replied, before sighing loudly. "I'm sorry." I frowned even more. _She had nothing to apologise for!_

"Don't worry about it. I would have done the same thing if I was in your situation." They stared nervously at each other for a few more seconds, until Edward glanced at his watch and sighed.

"I've gotta go. I'll see you around, Bella." He grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently in defeat. He smiled one last sad smile at her, before walking off down the corridor. I made my way back over to the fidgeting Bella, and smiled at her.

"Don't be sad, Isabella."

"I'm not. I feel guilty. I've upset him." My fingers grazed her cheeks and I tilted her head up to see unshed tears in her eyes. My heart skipped a beat at seeing her about to cry. I leaned down and kissed her eyelids.

"Wait till you see the kind of things we will do together, Isabella," I muttered. We made our way back to my small, almost flat like rooms.

"May I go to the toilet?" she asked nervously. I nodded, and pointed her in the direction of the bathroom. Her eyes shifted around, as if she was hiding something from me, but I thought nothing of it. When she was gone, I took out the sheets of paper that formed the contract, and a pen, ready to make changes and for her to sign.

It was at this moment that I suddenly felt nervous. She could still deny signing it, and I would be lost without her, I knew that as well as I knew my own name. That one night with her seemed to have brought her even closer to my heart. I scanned the contents of the contract once more, and glanced up when I heard the bathroom door shut behind her. She made her way over to the desk, sensually swaying her hips in a way I guessed she didn't even notice, but that made my heart beat faster and long to be inside her again. She sat down in the seat opposite me, and my eyes were drawn to where she crossed her legs, my shirt covering almost nothing of her skin.

I gulped, and shook my head, clearing my thoughts out. I tore my eyes away from her legs, and looked at her lips instead. They parted slightly at my stare, and I smiled.

"So, Isabella, let us begin."

* * *

**I have an important announcement to make. I apologise hugely for this, but After School Club and my other multi chaptered stories will be going on hiatus until further notice. This year, I hate to admit it, but my school work is exceedingly important. I have three dissertations to do, and little enough time as it is. I simply cannot commit to a regular update schedule and would hate to continually dissappoint you. I will write on the rare occasions I can, but these are likely to be few and far between. I am so sorry for this. If I do end up having an update ready, I will tease on The Fictionators and The Writers Coffee Shop so you will know when an update is coming. Once again, I apologise for this. I hate to do it, but my school work has to take priority here. Thank you to everyone for reading this chapter, and I hope you will wait patiently until I manage to bring another. If anyone has any questions or want to talk to me, please PM me or email me at rachelcullen77 gmail. com  
**

**Rach xx**

**What a send off though? ;) desk sex with Jasper anyone? Please review guys.  
**

**Thanks.**


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